Pillow Talk::It’s All a Sham

by Edie Wadsworth on February 11, 2013

Welcome to my blog!! I recently updated my ‘about’ page which has lots of links to give you flavor and feel of lifeingrace. In a nutshell, I’m crazy over decorating, cooking, cowboy boots and C.S.Lewis.  And I homeschool, which might make me just plain crazy!

 This story of this pillow cracks me up.
I bought the striped pillow sham at Pottery Barn and took it to a local shop and had a 7 inch (aka ginormous) monogram added to it.
I love everything about it—the size, the color, the fanciful monogram.

But it’s not what it seems.
And everytime someone emails me and says they saw it in Better Homes and Gardens and would I please spill the source on the pillow, I laugh.  And then everything in me wants to apologize.

Because the pillow is just acting the part. Just pretending.  Sitting up tall and straight and hoping beyond all hope that noone figures out she’s just a sham.

Literally hanging on by a thread, or a pin, as it were.
And so it is  with me too.  I’m just pretending.

I’m acting the part of mother, wife, creator, writer, chef, blogger, christian.

The imitation and pretending might offend you.  It offends me too and makes me want to apologize, for the rough places, the parts of me that aren’t what they should be yet.

But with all this imitation, we learn to be the real thing.  We study and read and watch and imitate long enough—and pretty soon, it’s hard to see that we’re posers.

Slowly, over years and struggle and repetition, we become who we were always meant to be.

But the underside, the part of us that’s unfinished is not to be scorned.  It reminds us that real, finished  beauty takes a lifetime.  It reminds us to be patient with ourselves and with others.

We are made in the image of God, creator or all things, so this mimesis, or imitation, is written on our hearts.

The question is not will we imitate but who or what will we imitate?

 


p.s. (And I say that someday, I’m gonna make a proper pillow out of this poser, but she does so good playing the part, I keep forgetting that she’s just a sham! And I think she does too!)

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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Southern Gal February 11, 2013 at 7:59 am

We become who we were always meant to be. Yes.

(Love that poser pillow.)

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2 Marsha February 11, 2013 at 8:08 am

The funny thing is that I asked for this “poser pillow” for Christmas. At least now knowing the secret I can attempt my own poser. Thank you for your honesty! :) I love the play on words and I find it all so true. I am raising two young ladies, this really hits home for me.

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3 edie February 12, 2013 at 6:20 am

Oh, how funny, Marsha!!
Yes, I try to teach my girls this same thing.
xoxo

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4 Heather February 11, 2013 at 8:42 am

Edie, I think that this is your best writing to date. I believe we are all “posers” trying to be the perfect wife, mother, friend, etc. We find those we wish to model and try so hard to be the other person that sometimes we lose some of those special things that make us the person that someone else is trying to be. (by the way I am trying to be more Edie!) I will try to keep this in mind as I strive to let go and let God take control so that he may shape me more into what he wants me to be. Much Love!
Heather

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5 edie February 12, 2013 at 6:33 am

Pure sweetness, Heather. Thank you!

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6 Jennifer February 11, 2013 at 8:50 am

I adore this post! And these words, too: “But the underside, the part of us that’s unfinished is not to be scorned. It reminds us that real, finished beauty takes a lifetime. It reminds us to be patient with ourselves and with others.”
Have a lovely day! :)

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7 Emily A. Clark February 11, 2013 at 8:52 am

I love this post. Thanks, Edie :)

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8 Julia Ryan February 11, 2013 at 8:53 am

Your blog posts are starting to become a necessity for me! Thanks for such a great post yet again!

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9 Amy Avery February 11, 2013 at 9:04 am

Oh Edie, how I love you! You have the most wonderful way of hitting that nail on the head. It’s like an a-ha momnet that was burried down deep inside of at least this reader, ME, and then you say it and it just becomes so very clear. I truly thank you for using this space to hit those nails on the head. You mentioned in an earlier post that you sometimes felt that perhaps with the words of CS Lewis and others out there that your words weren’t as significant as those great writers. I am certain many readers would agree that you are the CS Lewis of this time. One day in the future (and now too) people will be having book studies and discussions on the words of Edie Wadsworth and saying, “Edie just had a way with words and getting to the heart of the matter just in one blog post. Edie really got it, she was the real deal!) And you are! Thank you friend! I think you are the fully constructed pillow, raw seams and all, beautiful and real and putting your best face forward each day that you are on this earth, serving others as only you know how and not letting raw unfinished edges get in the way of really living as God intended. Thanks for always showing how God can shine through us when we place our life in his hands.

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10 edie February 12, 2013 at 6:35 am

You are the sweetest friend, Ms. Amy.
Love you :)

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11 Ruth February 11, 2013 at 9:25 am

Much like your poser pillow, we put on the pretty cover to hide behind. Thank you for laying it bare, uncovering the truth once again. We are all a work in progress, far from being complete but He who has begun a good work in us, will continue that wonderful work.
Thank you, Edie!! Your words are like a balm to our souls. We struggle to achieve perfection, be what is expected of us and when we fail, we suffer from guilt and condemnation. “But the underside, the part of us that’s unfinished is not to be scorned.  It reminds us that real, finished  beauty takes a lifetime.  It reminds us to be patient with ourselves and with others.” Patience is what we need.
Hugs:))

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12 Gretchen February 11, 2013 at 9:53 am

You too, huh? Sometimes I think if people saw the underbelly of anyone’s life the coveting and envy would disappear.

(The pillow is gorgeous.)

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13 Elizabeth Young February 11, 2013 at 9:53 am

Edie, I love your writing, how it flows and reveals such a poignant lesson all wrapped in lightness. Lovely! I am glad I was lead to your blog by a fabulous friend. xoxo Eliz

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14 Julie Ann Blevins February 11, 2013 at 9:57 am

Hello, gorgeous one. So funny…the picture and the pillow turned over…!!! This sums it all up. Love it. Love your words. Too bad there are too many posers…Afraid to seem “rough around the edges”…Afraid to be honest?…Afraid of….? Why live afraid? Love how you LIVE and keep it real. Thanks for this cute, cute, cute little blog! You are living your purpose…I am sure!!! xxx ooo

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15 The 1st of May February 11, 2013 at 10:30 am

Love “It’s a sham. Literally”. I feel the same way sometimes. As always, thank you for putthing it into words so beautifully.

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16 Wanda February 11, 2013 at 10:38 am

As usual! Love this! BTW… Any time you want me to “fix” that pillow and make it permanent just let me know. I’m pretty handy with needle, thread, and machine. :)

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17 kristin February 11, 2013 at 11:47 am

I love the pillow even more knowing it’s not perfect :)
Love this!
XO
Kristin

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18 Gina February 11, 2013 at 12:12 pm

I can relate…to the pillow and the deeper meaning. I have a linen skirt wrapped around a pillow on my bed. :/ I have every intention of making it right someday though. ;) As always…beautiful writing. :)

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19 darci haney February 11, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Oh what a great post!! Always look forward to reading your blog….thanks for being so honest! I seem to have too many ‘poser’ projects like this floating around my home too ;-)

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20 Signe February 11, 2013 at 12:43 pm

Do NOT change this pillow…. It’s perfect the way it is and will always be a good reminder of… well, many things! Loved this post!

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21 edie February 12, 2013 at 6:40 am
22 Kristi February 11, 2013 at 1:47 pm

your words are beautiful…as always and most timely for me. thx my dear!

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23 Laura February 11, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Unraveled, splitting at the seams, you’ve exposed my unfinished backside.
Then with humility and humor, you’ve stitched me – all of us- back together with threads of truth and beauty.
How I love your craftsmanship – the way you join us.
I am your apprentice, that I too might weave words of grace and life into the fabric of my days, so that the Master Designer might bind myself to Him.
-Laura

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24 Nena February 11, 2013 at 2:19 pm

How refreshing to read that I am not the only one who, at times, feels like a sham. Striving to live a life full of ideals, morals, and Christian virtues can make me feel I come up short. It is good to see that you have these issues too and that with humor and humility, we continue to grow. Please keep writing and sharing, what a source of strength you are!

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25 LLH Designs February 11, 2013 at 3:28 pm

Love, love, LOVE this post. I get impatient with my underside. And the outer shell…often feels a lot like your pillow…hanging on by a thread. But God is up to something GOOD. I can feel it. Now if I could just be more patient with Him! {And myself.} xo!

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26 Melynda February 11, 2013 at 5:54 pm

LOVE this post…At this point in my journey it is all about honesty…honest prayer, friendships, mothering, etc….AND yes, it does sometimes feel like a sham! And then sometimes God’s glory shines and we are the real deal. I LOVE your blog.

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27 Juls Owings February 11, 2013 at 8:36 pm

She’s not a sham. She’s just wearing the latest in style until she decides something else.

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28 Michelle February 11, 2013 at 8:57 pm

Cracking up!!!

Love your sham :)

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29 Kenzie @ Life of Swan February 11, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I never thought I’d identify with a pillow, but now I know better. The picture of the pillow turned over to reveal the rigged back is. my. life. Thanks for taking the time to be so open and honest here–and for making me feel like I’m not the only one pretending!

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30 Karen February 11, 2013 at 10:56 pm

Edie,

You are mostly definitely not a sham. I love this pillow even more now. I was so excited to see your home in BHG, and please take this as the compliment it is meant to be: I wished they would have devoted even more pages to show your home (the porch for one thing!) and to tell more of your story. Because you shine, and your story is such a powerful, vulnerable, masterpiece. I am amazed at how your new home has the Nate Berkus “collected over time” look. If you’ve talked about how you pulled this off with the new home, I would love to know the link. Thank you so much, for your transparency. and your beauty… inside and out.

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31 sarah {findingabundance} February 12, 2013 at 1:55 am

I love this post. It’s exactly what I needed to absorb today. Thank you for your honesty. And the pillow looks totally cute. :)

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32 chrissi February 12, 2013 at 1:42 pm

i think c.s.lewis would be proud of you. you just say all that needs to said so well.

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33 Sharon B. February 12, 2013 at 3:35 pm

I have enjoyed your blog so much since discovering it, and now I like it even more after reading this. I so appreciate the real! I love that pillow. It’s still real, still beautiful, it’s just re-shaped itself into something else. It’s versatile and willing to adapt, and we should all hope to be that. :) Sharon

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34 Marcy February 12, 2013 at 6:22 pm

Your thoughts on the posing hit home. I sometimes look around and wonder who said I was old enough to have my own children, own my own business, drive a car for that matter! My days are filled with doing that comes from being and thanking God that he somehow marries the two into the real me. I enjoy your take on life and faith!

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35 Trudy K. February 12, 2013 at 9:52 pm

Honesty, humor, humility. Just love you Edie. Thank you so much!

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36 robbie February 12, 2013 at 11:02 pm

Beautifully written. My soul, heart and mind need time to digest this…. thank you Edie.

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37 {darlene} @ fieldstonehilldesign February 13, 2013 at 8:40 pm

you cannot imagine how much i love this post.

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38 Cheryl February 14, 2013 at 7:11 am

Oh so true! It is all a process. Thank you.

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39 tara lowry February 15, 2013 at 9:00 am

digging the truth in this post.
we’re all posers on some level…just trying to become who we were created to be.

needed this reminder today to take it easy on myself.

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40 Emma February 15, 2013 at 4:50 pm

Can’t tell you how many times I tell my kids, my husband, myself: Fake it ’til you make it. It’s ok to work from the outside in. It had better be anyway, otherwise I’m in big trouble. Beautiful post.

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41 Ashley Urke | Domestic Fashionista February 20, 2013 at 4:10 pm

I love this post. And that quote by Aristotle. I can’t quite put my finger on it but this spurred some deep thought on the idea of creativity and living creatively. Thank you for sharing. And now I have the confidence that I too can have that beautiful pillow because now all I need is a monogrammed piece of fabric!

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42 edie February 21, 2013 at 6:10 am

i love it when that happens, ashley!!
yes, you can have that ‘pillow’. or fabric.
it can be whatever you want it to be.
:)))

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43 Lasso the Moon February 26, 2013 at 8:57 pm

I love this!! We have to remember that we were all called to be actors and imitators. Of Christ. And the more we copy Him, the more we reflect His face, the more we grow and attract others to Him. I LOVE your blog and your insight. Can’t wait to read more.
Anna

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