I was in the Walmarts last week.
I hate the Walmarts as much as the next guy but I just so happened to need deodorant, duct tape and green onions all in the same day. When I got to the check out line, there was a girl behind me who noticed my new riding boots. This is the exact conversation that followed. And THIS is why I love the fact that I live in Bean Station, TN. You couldn’t pay me money to live anywhere else.
Fellow Bean Stationer: ”I like ‘em boots. Is ‘em ridin’ boots?”
Me: ”Yes, they are, darlin’. I love them so much. I got them for my birthday.”
FBS: “Well, let me ast you su’um—–what kinda horse you got?”
Me (still speechless and pondering the ramifications of the conversation and then talking to myself): Um, actually I drive a Excursion and though it may seem like an oxymoron, I have riding boots and have never even considered owning a horse. I also have two pairs of cowboy boots and have never lassoed a steer. And then there are the aviator glasses with no airplane. You get the idea. My life is string of paradoxes. It seems I’m living a lie any which way you slice it. What’s this world coming to?
I know. You’re jealous.
And next time you snicker when you hear the name Bean Station, remember all the fun you’re missing with your high falutin’ life
And I’ll tell you all about it later but I’m headed to Blissdom in the morning! Yeeeeee-hawwwwww! Are you going? Save me a hug, would ya? I’ll be the one with the riding boots trying to find somewhere to tie off my stallion.