This place is hard to leave.

And it’s not just the beautiful people and the beautiful sunsets and the stacks of books I love here.

It’s the place where I know who I am and what I was made to do.  It’s home, in every perfect sense of the word.

It’s the place where my gifts intersect with my passions.

It’s my sweet spot, where I’ve found a place to work and love and play.

It’s here that I’ve learned to live out my vocation with all its lovely mess, learning day by day to love the neighbors that are nearest.  I work hard and love tender and still find plenty of ways to need lots of forgiveness. And these dear ones are gracious in hearing my confession.  They reach out with His mercy and love me well.

But down there, I don’t know where I fit, just yet.  I’m worried I won’t know how to help, what to say.  I fret that the love He’s been growing in my heart these past few months won’t find its way to them.  I find myself desperately lacking all the good things I wanted to be ready to give.  It’s my own poverty that scares me to death.

So. I read Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community (by Bonhoeffer)  again and it helped me remember that our fellowship with all the others in our life starts in Him.  He bids us draw near by way of His cross and He will make us enough.  My confession is truer than I even know.  Not only am I lacking all good things but my heart is deceitful and wicked and no one can know the depths of its depravity.  Saying this truth out loud brings me comfort because now I must depend on Him, trust in Him to do what I, in my sin and doubt, cannot.  I come empty, praying He fills me.  I come lonely, praying for the fellowship of his saints.  He will take my feeble offerings and make them holy.  He will honor what I have disparaged.  He will multiply the gifts and everyone will be full.

Am I ready?

No.  I’m so not ready.

But, I stand in good company with those who were unsure, doubtful, fearful, and  ill-equipped, and went anyway.

This time tomorrow, I’ll be on the other side of a giant wall;  a wall made of oceans and money and governments and  wars.  I’ll be on the other side of what separates our world from theirs.

My prayer is that Christ will give us ears to hear and eyes to see;  that He will make us know that what unites us is so much more powerful than what divides us.

May we find that our home was in Him, all along— as we seek to bring our brothers and sisters into His safe and loving care.


I’ve packed my handmade gifts for the families we sponsor.


And a few goodies for my new blog friends.


I’m hoping my suitcase will shut. 🙂



AND, I’ll be listening to some Broken Ocean and studying my Scrabble dictionary as I wait anxiously to meet my fellow travelers in Houston!


Thank you for your every note, email, text, and message of encouragement.  You have NO IDEA how much it means to me.  I am so blessed to feel your love and support and to go bearing your love to the people of Nicaragua.

Pray for safe travels.

See you on the other side.




48 comments on “‘Twas the night before…….”

  1. Edie, your humility is so refreshing and is the perfect antidote to so much puffed up Christianity everywhere. You have left a space in your offering that only He can fill, and He will. Be safe, be happy, and give yourself permission to enjoy this experience! xoxo
    (Also, thanks for the readings reminders.)

  2. praying for you as you venture out to this place you have been called. Believing you will indeed see another glimpse of Life in Grace. Have a fabulous time!!!

  3. We’ll be holding you close in prayer as you travel. I just sent my boys on a much, much closer mission trip today (up your way, towards Chattanooga). Isn’t it interesting that our great big God only asks us to go? He is going before you (and them) and His will will be done. You just show up. Love you.

  4. I’m so excited for you and the team going to Nicaragua. It’s going to be such a blessing for all involved. I can’t wait to hear how God is moving in hearts as you all go out to share His love. You’ll do fine. I’m sure of it.

  5. I love what you share. Your thoughts on sin, redemption, and grace has opened doors in my heart and my mind to see things as I haven’t seen them. God prepares a way where He sends us, He prepares the hearts of those we encounter. Your touch on these peoples’ lives will make a difference, sharing God’s word never comes back void. God bless and keep you and your family back at home. Praying for you and your team!

  6. I am praying also for you and your team, and for your family. And yes for the multiplying,, the fishes and loaves of all that you mentioned. ,, and on the fun side some great scrabble words : )

  7. This is wonderfully transparent and beautifully written and so very true. The Lord is going to use what you offer and make it perfect for the situation that He himself is leading you too. You are in safe hands, and you know this. I love the washclothes. Love that sunset. Love that you are going and I add my prayers to all the others. Happy trails to you!

  8. Praying for you, and so thankful we will get to share in it vicariously. Your heart and obedience are inspiring, and such an example of allowing God to truly direct your paths. So excited to see what god will do this week!

  9. i still remember that day you texted me with “YOU WON”T BELIEVE>>>please pray”
    and now it’s time

    i’m so excited for you friend
    you’ll be in my prayers
    i love you

  10. Dear sweet friend, I’m praying you’ll be bowled over by His unfathomable Grace, and His goodness…you will fit in every nook and cranny…I just know it. I absolutely cannot wait to hear all about it when you get back. It’s time for another call to catch up!!
    love you!

  11. Once again, I see that compassion begins with emptiness. Caring for others begins with knowing He cares for us … as we are. Thank you for sharing your heart, your fears, and your faith. Enjoy the journey, as well as the destination.

  12. I can’t wait to read about your trip! I am not going to lie–I’m extremely jealous of all of you as you get to love on some beautiful children.

    I’m praying for you and will be following your journey 🙂

  13. Just hang out with Christy from Southern Plate and you will be fine 🙂 Prayers for safe travels and spiritual enlightenment!

  14. Prayers ascending for you all! God will do awesome work through your yielded hearts.

    I quoted some of this post and linked to it on my own blog this afternoon.

    We’re never ready. He always Is!

  15. Thank you so much for what you’re doing for my country. Your words will be the guidance that some people need to make a decision to help and the comfort or reward for others to be reassured that what they’re doing is worth every single step of the way. You all are helping shape the future and fulfilling the great commission.

  16. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Prov. 3:5-6

  17. My thought, halfway through reading this, was “stop and pray for Edie and her family”. It is done. Thank you Edie for sharing this with us. Thank you for standing up for the sanctity of HOME. You inspire with your truth and love.
    I am so excited for you too. Can’t wait to hear from you! Big Hug!

  18. God Speed, Edie! So excited to hear all about it when you return full of Good Works and God’s love!! Prayers for all of you… Xo Heidi

  19. Edie, I am SO excited to follow your journey to Nicaragua this week! I’ll be praying that it all goes smoothly and that, somehow, you and the other bloggers will be blessed as you bless others. x

  20. Edie, you and the team have been in my thoughts and prayers so often, and now you are in Nicaragua experiencing all you anticipated, and under His awesome care. May He go with your every step. Your blog entries are such a blessing-thanks for sharing. I go with a team next week to visit our sponsored children.
    All is Grace in Jesus, Maureen

  21. Praying for all of you on this trip. One day I hope to be able to travel there and meet the boy I sponsor. If you happen to meet Anderson Miguel Membreño Cruz, please give him a huge hug for me. God bless you!

  22. Prayers are with you and your team as you begin this journey. I look forward to sharing this time through your blog.. Gods blessings for you and these precious children

  23. Four years ago I traveled to Nica to visit our son who was on a 9 month missions stint there ministering to the poorest of the poor in Granada. I had never been out of the USA before, let alone to a poor Third World country. That 1-week trip changed me forever and by God’s grace will result in the changed life of a sweet little boy I began to sponsor as a result of what I saw & experienced there. I still see faces of many children I met, and wonder what has become of them. May your trip & the words you use to bring the reading world along result in many, many changed lives for the glory of our Creator!

  24. Edie, I can’t think of anybody BETTER suited to bring love to the people of Nicaragua. Your love overflows to the people here, why not to them? You will be a natural.
    What shoes did you end up bringing?
    Kathy Bailey

  25. Oh, dear Edie, how much I wish I could be in your shoes right now! My sponsor child, Samaria, is in Nicaragua. In her last letter to me she explained some troubles that have befallen her family. My heart breaks for her and I so despartely just want to see her sweet face and give her a hug. To let her know how very much I love her though we have never met. I promise her that I will get there one day.
    May the Lord direct you to every mission that you are to accomplish there. I will be praying for you!
    Lots of love,
    Tonia Mayhew (VA)

  26. What an awesome post, it brought tears to my eyes! I will be praying for you as you all travel and I am so excited to follow along. Will be praying for all of you!

  27. I am sending you love and prayers right now. So incredibly proud for you. I cannot wait to see the pictures and read your beautiful words. They are going to see Jesus in you and feel His love through you. That is for sure. Love you sweet friend. xoxo

  28. Thinking about you and the rest of the Compassion team.
    Praying for God to bless you with the words to share your heart with us!
    Looking forward to reading about your trip!

  29. I am so excited for all of them to see the Jesus in you that I get to see each week! I traveled to Ethiopia & left all that I knew behind with Compassion 2 years ago. My suitcase was so jam packed with hair bows & nail polish… It was a Christmas miracle that I ever even got through customs 🙂 Seek Him over there sweet friend- with all your heart! He will be waiting on you!

  30. Love you Edie! Prayers, prayers, and more prayers for you as you are gone and for your family at home!!! And let the tennis shoe wearing begin! 😉 Muah!!

  31. Wow …you have fed my heart and soul…with exactly what it has been thirsting for. You provided another piece of a puzzle that God is slowly but oh so perfectly putting together. I will need to read it over and over. I too support a child – mine in Guatemala. I want the courage to visit him. I will be praying and following you every step and every word. Thanks Edie for your openness….

  32. You had me with that beautiful lake picture!! What a perfect little spot you have there. Your words about home being the place where your gifts and passions intersect and where you know who you are…my, how I long to be able to say the same things! And yet I don’t feel that way about my current vocation as a mom to very young children at home. I feel very confused about who I was made to be, having assumed for so long that of course I’d be a stay at home mom and thrive, and now not feeling quite so sure about that…Anyway, what a gift that you have found your sweet spot, I hope to be able to say the same one day!

  33. I love that you quoted from the Bonhoeffer book! I am preparing for my own Compassion trip in January and I will be sure to add that one to my reading list. I also love that you are taking hand knit dish cloths to your sponsored child’s family. I have been selling knit dish cloths to earn money to pay for my trip, I may need to knit a few extra to bring along with me. Looking forward to reading more!

  34. Greetings! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally
    got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out
    from Austin Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the excellent job!

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