Beam me up, Stevie……..

by Edie Wadsworth on December 15, 2008

My life has changed so dramatically over the past two years that it’s hardly believable that it’s the same person living in my skin.

The only way I can be absolutely sure that it is indeed me is by the fact I still charge into, say,  the dining room at lightning speed with a definite purpose and plan—only to be completely unable, when I get there, to remember why I came.  Thirty minutes later when I need the pewter water pitcher, I remember why it was I was charging into the dining room.  Those are the moments I’m most sure that the essence of who I am is the same. Pathetic, I know. Otherwise it seems to all have changed.I no longer dress up everyday and leave the house in a whirlwind  to do something ‘important’—-like treat hypertension and gout.  I no longer have people to  help me live my life, like a nanny (I miss you Kimmy) and a pool guy and a cleaning lady and a nurse.  It’s just lil’ ole me, my children and husband, my house, and my laptop,  wearing lounge pants all day and making enough homeade bread to feed the five thousand.   I feel like I’m in a permanent state of ‘hunkered down’,  which reminds me of the time I photographed all my children doing their best ‘hunker down’ pose.  I love that phrase and I loved even better their attempts to humor me.

So, in a nutshell, I quit working, started homeschooling, became Lutheran, and started blogging.
All things that might make your average Southern neighbor look at you with the same disdain as if you had just said you were giving up coloring  your hair and would soon be leaving for a Star Trek convention followed by a move  to Waco Texas to live in a commune.I’ve got no lies to tell, it ain’t been easy.

People understand a real job in which you must first get dressed and then go do a pap’s smear.  People do not understand a job  which has no dress code, requires that you rarely leave your house, and in which your fifty favorite ‘coworkers’ live in your computer.  To make matters worse, you find yourself involved in online Christmas tours and virtual cookie exchanges.  Imagine my chagrin when I’m trying to explain to my friend Donia why I won’t be here for the first day or two when she comes into town because I’ll be at a blogging convention.  I said it quiet like that and then had to repeat myself.  Seven times.  It didn’t go well.  For her or me.  I wrote about Donia here and she’s a truetolife-wonderful friend-tease the %$#@ out of ya for going to your Star Trek convention- kinda of a girl.

It’s moments like that when I want to call some real friend and go out for real, highly caffeinated coffee and eat a real cookies and……*talk*.  And talk and talk and talk.  Instead of type…and type….and type.   And I would do that,  except my girls and I are attached at the hip and I’ve got bread to bake and teenagers to mold into decent adults  and presents to wrap——and well,  a lot of typing and hunkering down  to do.

This has been an exciting blogging week for me because of this and this and even if many people don’t ‘get’ it,  I love my new life.  I love my new ‘job’ and I love my new ‘coworkers’ and I love my favorite new hobby.  So don’t worry about me yet.  My hair is blonder than ever (dangerously resembling trailer trash blond) and I’m just as wowed by all the new colors at MAC as always.  It’s still me in here, heavy on the eye makeup, lip gloss and feathered bangs, learning to live in the delicate balance that exists between mom-and-teacher, friend-and-lover, saint-and-sinner, and real.live.human-and-blogger.

And as always, the incredible man that I share my life with seems to ‘get’ me.  Even the new/less glamorous/bookworm/computer geek/ever-so-slightly-heavier  me.  
And I love that about him.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jessica December 15, 2008 at 3:33 am

Edie,
I’m so glad you wrote this post. I’ve been meaning to ask you what you think of your new life now that you’ve been at it for several months. How great that you followed your gut or heart or whatever and made these changes in your life. I’m sure your family is profiting more than they even realize. Your patients are surely missing you but us bloggers are loving you so blog on!

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2 Meaghan December 15, 2008 at 3:44 am

so fabulous. were you an MD? you amazing woman you! blog world is very wierd. i still bleach the snot out of my hair and pile on the eye makeup for my kids too! xoxo

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3 ko December 15, 2008 at 7:36 am

Love the post! It is kinda CREEPY and weird how we can become friends with people over the internet. I love love love love so many of my blogger friends!!! Way to follow your heart and do what it says!! :) What a blessed family to have such a GREAT MOMMA like you! :)

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4 Michelle December 15, 2008 at 10:50 am

I’m so glad your happy! It takes “guts” to know when enough is enough and to follow your heart, I’m proud of you.

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5 Sandy Toes December 15, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Hee hee..love reading you in the morning!

First, ARE YOU going to a blogging convention???

Second, Oh yes, I was at the MAC counter last week…some great colors…love it!!!

Have a great day!!! Sandy toes

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6 Davisix December 15, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Beautiful post, Edie. While I was a horse trainer before giving it up to homeschool full time it was still a struggle to not have that responsibility anymore, but to have a whole other, more important, responsibility. I wouldn’t trade it for anything now, though I do miss being in shape from riding horses all day. *big sigh* XOXO Ang

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7 Kelly December 15, 2008 at 2:03 pm

I just wanted to let you know how much I’ve been enjoying reading your blog since I discovered you through “The Nester”. I don’t have a blog (yet), but love reading everyone elses. Yours is so well written and I like your style so much. I, too, am a southern gal (from GA) and found your post on southerners to be so cute! Thanks for all the great insight you share everyday.

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8 Elephantschild December 15, 2008 at 2:32 pm

New here, found your blog from Issues, Etc. I am laughing and laughing at your list… I grew up on the mission field, and went to boarding school with a whole pile of Southern girls, even though I’m a cold, Germanic ::snort:: Midwesterner myself – everything you’re saying is OH, so true!

(Welcome to the Lutheran monkey house! Good to have you on board! Say, have you heard about Martin Loopers, the email list just for homeschooling confessional Lutherans? It’s a great group and we’d love to have you! There’s even a bunch of WTM-ers on there. My email’s in my blogger profile if you want more info.)

-Jenny/ elephantschild. :)

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9 Cary December 15, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Well said! I have only recently found the wonderful world of blogging and I have been receiving quite a bit of sarcasm from my family because of it. I always have stories to tell about what “my blogging friends” have been up to which gets lots of jabs from my hubby as well as my dad and brother. My dad calls you guys my “virtual friends”. Which is fine because I have never been happier. I have found inspiration, creativity, respect and loyalty from “my virtual friends”. So rock on! Oh, and I love the picture!

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10 Queen to my 3 Boys December 15, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Oh, do I ever hear ya!

It sounds oh so familiar to me…even as I am sitting here on the couch, strong coffee by my side, ‘talking’ to my ‘friends’, waiting for chaoes to errupt as soon as the children awaken.

Good to feel like I have a kindred spirit, when many others think the whole thing is NUTS!

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11 Melissa Lester December 15, 2008 at 4:47 pm

NO. WAY!! I cannot believe it! We moved to your town before my junior year of high school, and I graduated from West High. My dad preached for the church of Christ there. Is Tara’s Tea Room still in town? We always tried to visit there when I would return home. About five years ago my parents relocated to Alabama, so I haven’t made it back to East Tennessee in several years. What a small world! I’m so glad I clicked on your link today!

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12 Michele December 15, 2008 at 5:12 pm

What a HUGE life change! I am sure it hasn’t been easy. I am on the opposite end of that spectrum. I quit college to be with my then 18-month-old (only having 8 months left before having my Bachelors in education). I have homeschooled all of my children from day #1. A very social person I am and when people find out I homeschool they are SHOCKED (b/c I am a “people person”). Sometimes it isn’t easy, but I have a good support group of other homeschooling moms.

There are many, many days that I desire to go back to school and complete what I started and have a career. But the LORD ever so gently reminds me that is not what He has called me to do for this season. For this season my priority is my children, not myself. I will have plenty of time for a career and myself in what will seem like the blink of an eye.

I am so proud of you for making such a HUGE change! I would love to know all of the details about what brought about the change and why you decided to give up your career, your nanny, your cleaning lady, and your pool guy and take on the rewarding task of homeschooling.

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13 Meme December 15, 2008 at 8:11 pm

What?? You have only been doing this a couple of months? You are one of those gals that can seamlessly transition from worklife to homelife without a major depression? Why do I like you so? Shouldn’t I be jealous and mean? So glad I found your blog – and hope we can meet at the Blissdom weekend in February. No, I will not be wearing my costume…

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14 Tara December 15, 2008 at 8:51 pm

Just found your blog! Love it…I am just getting ready to quit an accounting job to stay home with my boys. Such a big leap of faith for me!

I will be checking back!

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15 Jessica December 16, 2008 at 12:07 am

Speaking of ‘hunker down’ we are pretty much doing that today. It’s cold in AZ (55 degrees), drizzling and Sophia’s sick. I thought of you and Gerraldo when I felt like ‘hunkering down’.

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16 gina December 16, 2008 at 12:31 am

Did Jessica just say it’s “cold”- “55″ where she is? Because I was just about to say it’s warm here…”55″. It’s all relative I guess. :)

Anyways- I’m glad you shared these feelings and thoughts, because as excited as I am about starting to homeschool again, there is part of me mourning (maybe) the fact, I was just about to return to the work force next September- when all of mine were finally in all day school. And there are SO many people that I encounter that want to make me realize why I shouldn’t be choosing to homeschool- even if I don’t ask for there two cents. They ask why and I start to explain- a little and they immediately cut me off with some story of some child they had or they know who was “too smart for school too” or bored with school , not challenged – blah, blah but who sucked it up, learned to live with it, just suffered through school days and then did “enrichment” at home– all of which make me want to stare at them incredously and SHOUT “DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT IS AN ARGUEMENT AGAINST HOMESCHOOLING??? ARE YOU CRAZY?” but since I am a Libra and crave balance and harmony I just change the subject with a small, tight smile.

So blogging gives me the ability to meet and “socialize” with like minded woman- or ones more accepting of the small differences in each other’s lives(don’t even get me started about the people in my life who mock “blogging”)- women who’s lives all follow the same basic rhyme and rythmn as mine. No matter where they live. Because what would be the odds of being able to find such a dynamic group of woman all living right near me? So it’s a much needed supplement to real life- I think.

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17 Mandi December 16, 2008 at 2:51 am

Edie,
I have often wondered about how you adjusted to your new life as Dr. turned SAHM. My brother is in med school now, so I see first hand what you went through to become a MD.

Being from your neck of the woods, I laughed out loud at your comments on what your “typical Southern neighbor” thinks of these new changes in your life. As for this Southern neighbor, I think what you have done takes more strength and courage than most people could muster and your children will reap the benefits for all these choices. Kudos to you.

Oh yeah, I was so happy to see that the Nester gave you a shout out for all of your gorgeous Christmas decor. So deserving!

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18 Musings of a Homeschooling Mom December 16, 2008 at 4:11 am

It is so great to see someone put into words some of the feelings I have about my blogging friends. It is so great to meet so many likeminded people. I have met a lot in our homeschool group, but it’s great to read about other’s journeys. There are days that I miss working, but they are usually my weak, emotional days.

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19 Yolanda December 16, 2008 at 11:15 pm

I too am glad you wrote this post. I was never the typical southerner either. Hurray for you. You live in one of the most beautiful places in the world to me .

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20 Cyndi December 17, 2008 at 3:31 am

Love this post!! You are in my favorites girl.

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21 *Keli* December 17, 2008 at 5:36 pm

What a wonderful post Edie! I’m so happy that you love your new life..I think you are doing a great job at it! You have a beautiful family to take care of! xo Keli

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22 Katy December 20, 2008 at 5:10 am

I’m intrigued, really like your post. I read it word for word and took it all in. I got up in the middle of it, read a book to my daughter and came back and read the rest. I totally ‘get’ what your saying about your new life, job etc. Thank you for your perspective on this.
P.S. going to get a bit blonder this coming TUESDAY…I’m pumped, I love getting my hair done. :)

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23 Mommy, M.D. November 3, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Hi friend! Well, new friend, or person-whose-blog-i-will-now-stalk. Not a lot of us crazies out there. I'm a physician, just made it through my intern year in peds, who's now a housewife. More precisely, a homeschooling preacher's wife. So, hi, nice to "meet" you!

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24 leslie January 27, 2014 at 12:39 pm

Oh thank you for this. I am so glad God led me to your blog today, through pinterest. I know I sound crazy. But I needed to read this today…. Similar to you, I graduated college with a degree in chemical engineering and material science. Had a great job as a scientist and then had three kids in four years. Had an awesome nanny. Life was good but I hated to leave my babies. SO I quit three years ago. And was doing well. Then three months ago we decided to change things up- moved to a fixer upper on five acres. Now I’m home with nobody to talk to but the four year old and an 80 year old neighbor- as my husband works very long hours. The chores and trying to fix the house while being a present and engaged mom is completely overwhelming. I’m tired. I have no friends in this new town and my attempts to make them have failed so far….. So thank you for the encouragement. Reminded me that this is just a valley and greatness is ahead. I just need to keep on. And that I’m not the only one in sweatpants today. :)

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