13 Piddly thoughts that I feel the need to share with you.  On January 13th.
1. I love the phrase “Do what?” in place of “Pardon?”
2. I am ashamed to say that I threatened to send my children back to ‘real’ school today.  “And you can’t tell your teacher there that you’re NOT gonna DO your math….or that you don’t LIKE to memorize poems. When I was  your age, I had to walk four miles……rant, rave, and rant some more…..and you ARE gonna respect me….do you understand me?”
( Stepping down off of a very large soap box. )
3.  Having a new puppy is like a big whirlwind of squishy, yummy slobbery kisses and poop.  Arranged like little land mines all across your back yard.
4. I do not complain about the ‘land mines’ because I’m so thankful they are not in the house.
5.  While serving my family the most awesome beef stew I have ever had acquaintance with, I say to them:  “When you eat food like this, you know one thing for sure……Somebody loves you.” They fake smile and nod.  And then devour the most awesome beef stew. Ever.  I’m too tired to post the ‘recipe’ because I cook like an old granny who doesn’t even know where her measuring cup is.  And washes styrofoam and reuses it.
6. My brand new Nikon D90 has a weird malfunction and will NOT take pictures.  The Nikon representative told me that ‘if the inconvenience bothers me, I should return it to the store where I bought it’.  Well sir, the tiny fact that my new Nikon camera WILL NOT TAKE PICTURES….sorta does bother me.  A TEENY TINY BIT.  IT’S A CAMERA THAT WILL NOT TAKE PICTURES.  I am not an unreasonable woman here.  Despite the fact that my lounge pants are covered in dog hair and I’ve claimed the ‘clippie’ as a hairstyle.
7. I have been using a certain high-end hair product which I thought was a conditioner.  This said product, given to me by my stylist, is apparently a toner that has slowly turned my hair into something I do not recognize.  A sort of blondish, beigish, yellowish, orangish color that I have never in fact seen in nature.  The scary part is….I really don’t care that much.  This could be devastating evidence that I’m becoming one of ‘those’ mom-types who has given up.  You may want to intervene.
8. Did I mention the beef stew?  ‘Cause I think I could enter it into a state fair and win a blue ribbon.
9. Do what?
10. There are ‘chew’ marks on my laptop.  And on the legs of all my furniture.  Is this gonna be covered under my warranty? Home owners?
11. Speaking of chew,  Southerners often say “Chewsdee” for Tuesday.
12. My ‘resoluteness’ for my ‘resolutions’ is waning.  It happens to be January 13.  
13. My outside Christmas wreaths are still up.  It happens to be January 13. 
 Do what?
In order to make the ‘do what’ phrase work, you have to say ‘what’ in a really high pitch and in two syllables.
I am forced to post this scintillating piece literary nothingness with no pictures because MY NEW NIKON CAMERA DOES NOT TAKE PICTURES.    There, I feel better.

23 comments on “Evidence that I may need to get a job….”

  1. Bumm-er! so sorry that you’re camera isn’t working! that is no fun. i’ve had those homeschool days…journaled on my HS blog. i’ll send you an invite if ya want…but don’t tell child services.

  2. OH goodness…I just got off the treadmill and can barely talk..but this made me laugh!!! So sorry to hear about the camera..it’s like a Seinfield episode!
    -sandy toe

  3. I can completely relate to the HS day. We seem to have something like that every so often.

    But I am surprised that the camera not taking pictures is a problem??? What a stupid thing for someone to say to you.
    Good luck getting that taken care of, I do not like having to handle that type of stuff.
    I agree with Sandy Toes – it would make a great Seinfield episode.

    Tomorrow will be better – it has to right?

  4. My christmas wreaths are still up, to, and just today I imagined the president of the HOA coming down on me for it at the board meeting this Sunday, and I have prepared my reply… I am going to say,
    “Gee Charles, I think you are overstepping the bounds of your authority!” And then turn towards the kitchen and say, “Did someone say Chocolate cake?”

    Just like that…

    Because somedays there are more important things than taking down your Christmas wreaths.

  5. I enjoyed reading your post even without the beautiful photos! I will go ahead and admit with you that I,at times,have been known to threaten my children with going to school! I never tell anyone that! Wow! I feel a little better! 🙂

  6. I just have one question, do you write everyone’s names on the styrofoam cups and then wash them?

    When I have more than 5 kids in my home (usually 8 neighbor kids, maybe even a few animals, who knows) I write their names on cups. I know they are snickering at me behind my back, but really, what else can a momma do (and I swore I would NEVER, EVER write names on cups)…

    what happened to your camera? please tell us Hank didn’t do it…

  7. I love #5! That happens to be how I cook too 🙂

    Since I’ve been so sick, though – its been homemade lemon chicken noodle soup. But, without the from scratch chicken part – because the smell made me nauseous. SO, it’s more of a mix of homemade and Gia Russa chicken stock.

  8. Guess what? If my camera worked, I’d take a picture of our Christmas tree, which not only is still standing, but is also, ahem — fully decorated.

    Your (soon-to-be Blissdom friend, Michelle (aka Vintagesquirrel)

  9. You are such a hoot! I always love your posts like this because they are SO TRUE! Your Nikon won’t take pictures, DO WHAT? Seriously though, my Nikon is smarter than I am and it does that to me a lot. So frustrating! Maybe one day I will actually read the manual instead of just giving it to Lon to fix. Good luck with getting it fixed.

  10. “In order to make the ‘do what’ phrase work, you have to say ‘what’ in a really high pitch and in two syllables.”

    I totally tried that- out loud. Now, how am I going to get my kids to respect me… they think I’m crazy.

  11. Sounds like a really bad day today, but it is probably just because it is the 13th! (Tomorrow is a new day.) By the way, my daughter who homeschooled her kids until October, did send them to school. Now, they are complaining to her about the same things only about public school plus they hate taking bus. Good luck

  12. I hate gadgets! I had an ipod die just over the 1 year warranty and a camera, both in the last year, oh, and a docking station. I’ve just had it! I almost am ready to revolt and not buy any more gadgets! It is a conspiracy for sure!

  13. Sorry the kids didn’t want to do school and you threatned to send them back to a “real” school but I have to tell you I thought I was the only one who did this and had kids who did not want to do their work so while I am sorry for your crummy day you have indeed made mine. I am a mom who has given up on wardrobe. I tell my son’s girlfriend that my sweat pants are my mommy uniform, truth is they are the only ones I can fit in. Love your blog!

  14. Evidence that you may need a job? I’m kinda thinking therapy. Do what! Did I say that? *wink* Why don’t you just draw a picture instead of taking one. I’m sure you could do it–and quite well in fact!

  15. please tell me you don’t really have chew marks on your computer….I’m gonna have to take a moment here……. Well I have to tell you that the other night, Andrew came home and while I was in the middle of eating my leftover enchilada thing, he went on to tell us how for dinner he had the most amazing Beef Stew. Btw, I am pretty sure since the many vegetarian years back home and the fact meat has only made a comeback to our lives since moving to the South, I don’t think I have ever made him Beef Stew. So will you please give us the recipe, pleeeeease, even if it is a pinch of this and thing of that. I rely on any proven recipe I can get my grubby non beef stew makin’ hands on! And furthermore friend….wasn’t that stew on Monday night. I thought soup night was Tuesday, Andrew wasn’t so sure what to do with that….maybe that could’ve been #14 on your list….mixin’ up the food nights and all:) lol…hmmmm….maybe stew doesn’t count as a soup. Oh and about your camera…that truly stinks. A LOT! I will say though that I can live with a post w/o pics..we just love hearing from you! Maybe tomorrow I will see how many times I can say Do What? love ya lots, Cindy

  16. I was laughing so hard and had my hubby come over to the couch to read what you wrote… doesn’t it feel good to vent.. it is nice to hear that all kids have the same whiney thing they do about school.

  17. do what??? 🙂 My kids say that to me while helping with homework. They even have complete melt downs when I tell them that the word cuddle is spelled c-u-d-d-l-e not c-u-d-o-l-e
    I think you are a saint for being a home schooling mother. There is a reason you are doing it – so just keep on truckin – you will work out the glitches!
    Hugs to you!
    Oh and by the way – why does it bother you that your camera doesn’t take pictures – it’s just a camera after all. Hehehe 🙂

  18. You, my friend, are very hilarious!! I can SO relate to your homeschooling issues. And I thought it was just my children that argued with me about doing their work. Whew!
    And with your camera, did you just want to reach through the phone and just…um, give him a good ole Christian/mother of homeschooled children smack down! Do what? Obviously the guy wasn’t aware that a camera is suppose to take pictures. Hope your camera gets fixed soon.
    Loved this post!

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