It is a delicate thing, this public writing. To write honestly about something you love without conveying a sense of superiority or smugness. I’m sure I fail at it miserably and I pray you’ll forgive my shortcomings in this area. I simply couldn’t have expected this turn in my life—-that I would be here—-at home—–teaching my kids everyday. Never mind that I’d love it so much. I can’t say enough how thankful I am to find myself in this position. If you’re considering homeschooling, I hope to encourage you to take the next step.
After the fire, I wasn’t sure if I could breathe again much less teach my children their schoolwork.
I often thought of calling it quits. I didn’t know how to go on. I didn’t want them to see me fall apart everyday.
But somehow we made it through. We finished out the year.
We memorized Romans 8:18-39 as a way to help our hearts heal. I remember the day we finished it.
It felt like a milestone. I knew we were gonna be okay. We taught each other how to live through tragedy.
I could cite so many reasons why I continue to homeschool my kids.
Yes, it’s true that I LOVE learning. I love the opportunities to relearn with the kids the things I never learned very well the first time. And the classical model for education is beautiful. It’s rich in great literature, rigorous and demanding in memory work and reading and writing. It’s centered in history and is time tested as a proven way to raise leaders and independent thinkers.
I could tell you that I love teaching the faith to my kids. I don’t have to worry about them being indoctrinated with secular humanism. I can enculturate them with confessional lutheran teaching and practice and hand on to them the faith of our fathers.
I could tell you that I love our family centered life where we are not segregated by age or surrounded by peers. I love that the bulk of their time is spent with adults who love them and have their best interests at heart. I am thrilled when I see that their siblings become their best friends and they get to spend long stretches of time in the magical world of childhood play.
But all that is really a cover for why I can’t imagine doing anything else.
I’ve seen in my older kids that life is a vapor. You blink and they’re gone.
I grieve the time I lost with them and I don’t want to miss anything else.
This mothering is what I was made to do.
I want to do it to the fullest for as many hours a day as I can.
I hate to admit it but I think I’m just selfish.
I want their mornings and their lunchtimes and their belly laughs and even all their groanings.
I want the bike riding and the lap sitting and the hours and hours of reading together.
I want the crafting and the cooking and all the holiday shenanigans.
After 3 years, all the lofty reasons I started homeschooling can be reduced to this—-I just want them here with me.
For as long it lasts, I want their days.
And hopefully, we’ll learn some great stuff too.
Soon, a nuts and bolts post about what we’re doing this year. Soon, as in, as soon as I figure it out!