someday i will look back at this precious gift.
and this is what i will remember.
her clinging—-arms tight around the neck— while we read, while we memorize, while we learn.
and my selfish longing that she would stay in her seat and be diligent.
has melted to this.
as the heart melts into repentance.
hopeful that for one more day—- she’ll find her place and her comfort right here.

it’s all so fleeting. don’t let me squander away this need in her to hold on.

and my striving for my own place, my own significance, my own life
…….has found its’ voice in her.

and so i cling too.

and we find our purpose
one day
one heartache
one joy
one year
at a time.

hold on.

and never let go.

Happy Birthday Emme!
You are my joy and my sweet 10 year old monkey. Thank you for turning my world upside down.
I give you my love and my days,

20 comments on ““Hold On””

  1. Oh, Edie
    I have been where you are. I would give anything to have my little girl’s arms around me again. She was diagnosed with leukemia at age 10 and fought for 5 years. She lost her battle at 15. Those days are so precious and the sweet clingings of little girls are priceless. You are a beautiful mommy inside and out. Your daughter is a cutie.

  2. Edie, I look forward to your posts and I am frequently moved by your spirit. Mark Twain once said: Dance like nobody’s watching, Love like you’ve never been hurt, Sing like nobody’s listening, Love like it’s heaven on earth, Thanks for being you

  3. Happy Birthday Emme! She’s the one who will be sitting on your lap when she’s 20. Cherish these moments – they go by oh so fast!

  4. Great Picture Sis!!! Sweet post! Of course, it made me cry…can’t believe that baby girl is already 10. We’ll celebrate soon! Love ya!

  5. This made me weep….as I sit and repent myself of how many times over our four short weeks of home schooling so far I have wished she would not cuddle so close, but give me space. Her nearness tickles me or constricts me and I’m irritated. How very sad I feel right now for ever feeling this way. Tomorrow when we sit up on the couch together again I will remember to pull her close and NOT be bothered. Thanks for the eloquent reminder.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *