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life{in}grace

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Archives for November 10, 2008

"Over the mysteries of female life, there is drawn a veil, best left undisturbed"

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Welcome to my 100th post party!!   If you’re male…read the title to this post and type “ESPN” into the browser.  Really.  There’s nothing for you here.  Stevie, you can stay.  For all you women left,  I’m so excited and have some fun surprises for you.  First of all, I dressed up for the party.   I washed, blow-dried and curled my hair.  I put on cute boots and my favorite MAC eye shadow.  Oh and a cute outfit too. (Okay I lied, I took these pictures after church yesterday)  but since I’m normally sporting yoga pants and a pony tail….I thought I’d surprise you!
If I can just figure out how country girl gets those self-portraits to turn out so good.
Let’s see if I hold the camera like this and then….oh, wait I forgot to look up……
oh, just forget it…..on to my 100th post.  Which is all about blogging.   And how blogging has become my ‘well’.  I take this analogy from a post I read here,  and thought it summed up my feelings about blogging.  This writer was an athiest and has now converted to catholicism.   And a career woman now converted SAHM to three little ones.   I am (was) a family practice doctor and am no longer working……so that I can stay at home with my children….and homeschool the two youngest.   This transition for me has been the hardest one of my life.  At least up to this point.  I went from seeing and helping lots of people everyday…..to seeing and helping 6 people everyday.  The same 6 people….who don’t always want or value my help.   Let me first say that I LOVE what I’m doing now and am more than thankful to my husband that I am able to do it.  That said,  I have felt tremendous isolation and loneliness.  Is there anybody else out there?  who knows what it’s like to pray that you see a familiar face at the grocery store.  At 5am?   I’ve even made friends with the butcher.  Great guy.  Also named Steve.   He saves me the ground sirloin that’s on sale.   Am I crazy to be somewhat relieved when my  faucet is leaking because at least the plumber will stop by?  Okay maybe I was never that lonely…..but close.  Then there you came.   I was introduced to blogworld by my friend Denise.  A thousand thank-yous Denise because I’ve met so many great friends.  In the above mentioned  article,  Jennifer talks about how women have always socialized with each other….. and in ancient times, it was  around the town well….to draw water to take care of their families.   We need it.  Each other, that is. Okay and water too.  We were not designed by our Creator for isolation.  So, what does a busy mom do who is homeschooling and preparing meals and taking care of her house and doing laundry, and feeling a little ‘thirsty’ on the inside?   Does she sit with her loneliness and yearn for adult conversation?  No.  She blogs my friend.   She goes to the well,  for fellowship,  for companionship,  for the fresh cool psychological and spiritual water she is thirsty for.  For me it looks something like this.   I get up at 4:30 or five and  after a little quiet time,  I write my post for the day….or at least think about what I would write.
I then visit some of my favorite blogs.   I laugh (Country Girl), I cry (NieNieDialogues), I learn (Restoring the Years), I think (Conversion Diary), I envy (The Nester), I wish I was a writer (Mabel’s House) or a great amatuer photographer (Confessions of a Pioneer Woman) and sometimes if I have something to say or some encouragement to offer….I comment.   I’ve been amazed at the power of mom blogs.  Just check out Confessions of a Pioneer Woman or Soulemama.   Blogging is a powerful venue for the expression of ideas….and I’m happy to contribute my little two cents to the dialogue.  I start my laundry and dishes and homeschooling and then around 10a at our first break,  I check a comment from a sweet reader who wishes me well and loves my brownie recipe.   At lunch,  I do the same thing and maybe visit a few more sites I like. Just little 2 or 3 minute snippets at a time and soon,  I feel connected.  Part of a larger community of christian mom bloggers who may or may not work/homeschool.   Sometimes I read serious blogs that challenge my thinking and make me do some research.  A lot of times, I get fabulous decorating ideas and can’t wait to try them.  But always…..always…..I feel thankful. That I’m not alone.   That Jessica, Ang, Keli, Kelly, Brooke, Gina,Denise, JamieKnoxville, Cindy, Liz, Sandy, Carrie….and you and you and you are there.  

  I’m fascinated by blogworld.  And I’m always on the hunt for someone I can really connect with.  Sometimes I can’t explain it….I wander onto a blog and do the equivalent of a drive-by. The font’s too little, the background wallpaper is too busy, the music is bad. Because I’m southern, I feel the need to be a grateful guest….then about halfway through the post I just lose it and close the whole window. I feel guilty. Like a bad friend whose not really listening when you’re trying to tell them about all your problems. Is that bad? How do you decide what blogs you can afford to devote 2 minutes of your day to? Like you, my time is like gold….so if I can’t connect, I move on. What makes me connect or decide there will be no connecting? I don’t know. I make my decisions quickly and without regret. Except for the guilt. Then if I happen upon a blog for the 2nd time when I’ve previously done a drive-by…..I just know that the author of the blog is staring at me saying, “Yeah, wasn’t good enough for ya the first time, huh? I’m not a homeschooler, is that what it is?  My music’s too traditional? My font’s too small, is that it? Then I start apologizing profusely….to the profile picture on the computer screen. And make excuses about how the first time I visited one of the children got hurt and had to go get stitches and I always meant to come back and make amends…..for the drive-by. 
Then there are those magic moments of connection;  what? she homeschools…and runs…..and reads good books….and cooks….and loves make-up….and the eighties.   Manna from heaven.  That’s why I’m so thankful for you guys, out there in blogland, who actually read this stuff. And make sweet comments. And encourage me. And tell me that I’m tall. And skinny. You lying fools.   But I’ve gotten attached, in a virtual sorta way. I can’t wait to show you what I’m cooking and what great stuff my kids are doing and what decorating projects I’m working on…and what I’m reading, and on and on. I get kinda panicky if I’m gonna be out of town. Like I need to tell you my plans. So you won’t worry. Or forget me…that I’ll have some fun stuff to tell you and show you soon. And I love reading your blogs too. I get so excited about your stuff and your life and your kids.  So this blogging thing has changed the way I live my life….or at least the way I think….about the way I live my life. And you couldn’t have come to me at a better time for me. This being my first year homeschooling…..I need you. I need to know that you’re home…..in the trenches……raising good soldiers too……and that you wonder if what you do matters and does anyone notice? ‘Cause those are the questions that haunt me sometimes when I think too long about the thirteen years I spent in school after high school becoming a doctor…so I could save the world.  And here I am now.   The only thing I’m saving is the leftover country style ribs from dinner so that I can make some killer soup tomorrow.  But I am blessed and feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  Living the life that June Cleaver only dreamed about. And it’s good. It’s right. And you….you….all have helped me know that. Blogging for me is so……necessary. So don’t go anywhere. Stay with me here at the well……grindin’ it out day after day……loving our men, teaching our kids, and ruling the world. One day and one post and one…..drink at a time.

Now because I love you all so much,  I have a treat for you.  The girls and I are studying ancient Egypt and today learned about King Tut.  The song…..you know the one…..da da da   da da da da da da da   KING TUT…….came into my head.  (Dont’ lie—you’re groovin’ already)   So the girls and I searched You Tube and found Steve Martin himself singing it.   This is education at its’ finest.  I bet they don’t do this in real school!  I got the girls on video dancing to it and they wouldn’t let me put it on my blog unless I let them video me too. So enjoy a laugh at my expense.  This is the best I’ve got until I learn to swing dance.

Now pick yourself up off the floor and leave a comment.  One of the lucky commenters will be sent my scarf.  My random generator (two cute girls, ages 6 and 8) has predetermined which number is gonna win…..so it’s completely random.  I’m all technical like that.   I’ll let you know who wins this week and I’ll mail you the beautiful hand knit scarf I made.  Easy on the King Tut dancing comments!! 
To borrow JamieKnoxville’s favorite parting phrase,
“Love you long time” 

Mexican food and septic tank troubles…..go figure!

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So,  today is Marcus’ birthday.  He’s 22!   We celebrated yesterday after church with one of his favorite meals……beef and chicken enchiladas with homeade queso and homeade salsa.   And then of course,  cookie cake.  I would include some recipes but I don’t want my food in that close proximity to the Roto Rooter truck below.  I’m picky  like that.   We had a great day and having the grandparents here made it that much more special.
Why is it that everytime I’ve had to call this guy in the past few years,  it’s been at a major holiday or when I’ve had company or on a Sunday or all three?   Septic tank problems are not what you hope for when company’s coming.  Or already present.   My neighbor even called and said, “So, you had to call Roto Rooter AGAIN”.  Yeah,  I know I know,  they just came a couple months ago.  I guess we’re just crappy like that.  But having septic problems is kinda funny.   Bad smells bring out laughter.
At the dinner table this is what I heard:

Emme:  Ewww, what is that smell?
Grandpa Eddie:  That’s you girlie.  That’s from where you poop in the pooper all the time.
Emme:  Huh-uh,  Mom is it?
Me:  Yep, grandpa’s right.   Not just you though, all of us.  We’re all to blame.
Emme:  That’s deesgusting.
Grandpa Eddie to macdaddy:  So when are they coming to fix it?
Macdaddy:  Well, when I tried to give the guy directions, he said he had G-P-S.  I told him “good, hurry then ’cause we got a lot of G-A-S in this house right now.”
And so it went all afternoon!
Turns out, maybe there’s something wrong with the pipes-and other gobbledy gook plumber-speak that I don’t understand- that’s been the cause of these frequent problems.  Maybe we’re not so crappy afterall.