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8. What other people think of you

August 9, 2019 by Edie Wadsworth Leave a Comment

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ediewadsworth

TEACHER/WRITER|HEALER
💕POD: Your Best Beautiful Life
💕OILS: EdieWadsworth.com
💕COACH: lifeingraceblog.com
💕crossfit|faith|family|adoption|food

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The first time I hosted Thanksgiving was the only year I was ever a single mom, the year after my Daddy died. I stayed up all night the night before, working like crazy woman, probably trying to prove to myself that I was resilient and capable and industrious. I listened to Counting Crows cranked up high, made everything homemade, followed Martha Stewart’s Thanksgiving recipes to a T, down to the homemade cranberry/apple reduction sauce. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Y'all, I even constructed the Mayflower as a centerpiece for the kid’s table, with indian headdresses for all the littles. I made the Mayflower with my own TWO HANDS. I’m just sayin, I think I get extra points for that?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When my family showed up at the door, I started sobbing. Because sometimes I’m not so resilient and I’m not so strong. Sometimes I’m fragile and sad and so completely human. Sometimes even a handmade Mayflower can’t cover up what I’m hiding. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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One thing I know and love about Thanksgiving is that I want my people to be here. I need them to be here. Not so I can cook the best food and set the best tables but because I know how desperately we all need each other. I am so thankful for their love, their support, the gift of their presence in my life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Mama friends, love your people HARD this Thanksgiving. Love your people when they've lost their way and when their mashed potatoes are runny and even when they stand at the front door and sob. This is what it means to take care of each other. This is the way of hospitality.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My family responsively reads a beautiful Thanksgiving Litany every year written by Pastor Bill Cwirla. It's so beautiful and I'm linking to it in my stories. Print it off and be blessed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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LOVE YOU. Happy Thanksgiving week!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And tell me in the comments ONE side dish you can't live without.

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We got back from Disney yesterday and had the hardest evening we've had with Tom Tom to date. It was ugly. His outbursts and anger are always directed toward me and I was crushed under the pressure.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I cried as hard as I've ever cried for close to an hour.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Stevie said in 20 years he's never seen me so broken.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We finally got him to sleep then we prayed, we talked for hours, we didn't sleep much.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But I woke up this morning with a fire in my belly that won't quit. There is NOTHING that little boy can say to make me go away, to make me stop loving him, to make me do anything but STAY RIGHT HERE until the storm passes.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I decided to fast and pray today and tomorrow. To beg God for a miracle, for healing, for redemption, for His precious little child to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is loved and CHOSEN.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I prayed against spiritual warfare that wants to do damage to this family and to our son. I prayed for heaven to come down, for Christ to be near.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And I hold tight to the promise that the sufferings of this life do not compare to the glory that will be revealed. Sometimes life is not what we thought it would be, but I am HERE FOR ALL OF IT.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This warrior mama will NOT STOP fighting.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I invite you to join me for the next 50 days (which will end right between my 50th birthday and the day one year anniversary of Tom Tom coming to live with us) at 6:50 every morning for a wake up call—a reminder for all of us that what is happening in our lives is happening FOR US and that no matter what, we will show up for our lives, fully present and awake and ready to take back what has been lost. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I linked the first live stream from this morning in my stories today and I also thought you might need a CUP OF JOE for this wake up call series, so scroll through my stories and you'll find a bar code that you can use at Starbucks to FUEL UP for what's to come. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is my little reminder to you that YOU WERE CREATED for this battle. Bless you. Love you. xoxo

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For two non-theme park, homebody geriatrics, Stevie and I rocked this Disney weekend. In full disclosure, I got a teeny bit nauseated on Dumbo😂😂😂 And My favorite line from our boy, “I didn’t come all the way down here to jis keep stoppin and eatin.”😂😂🤩🤩😳😳😍😍 (in my defense, it was my only chance to sit down🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️) There was magic, to be sure. The lighting of the castle by Elsa, the character lunch at Chef Mickey’s, all the trinkets we said yes to, and the safari today at Animal Kingdom. So amazing. But All in all, I think our buddy would rather be home hauling something. I think I’m with him. Although he did say, “Next year when we come...”😳😳😳😳 Make me laugh with your fave emojis that describe your relationship with Disney. Here are mine. 🆘🆘🆘🆘 K love ya, bye.

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I woke Tom Tom up this morning and surprised him with the news that we are headed to Disney World!! I’m not sure the actual trip can live up to his excitement this morning. But I will tell you this—for as hard as this year has been at times, having him in our home has been pure magic. Also? Any last minute tips would be appreciated. We’re not really Disney people but we can’t wait the spoil him rotten. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Two men in my life celebrated birthdays in the last month, and to say they were different celebrations is an understatement. Tom Tom welcomes ALL the birthday fun, and Stevie just wants a normal night and dinner.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I used to get SO hurt that Stevie didn't care about all the work I put into a big celebration. I made his birthday all about me and I let it be an excuse to prove the story in my head—that he doesn't appreciate what I do.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I've learned a lot about love and relationships and Stevie since then.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I used to blame him for my emotions. I used to tell a different story about us. Until I realized that I'm in charge of the narrative of my life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here are 7 ways to take responsibility for your relationships and write a better story...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Stop blaming others for how you feel (your thoughts cause YOUR feelings, so nobody can make you feel anything!)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Stop making excuses for why your relationships are struggling⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Give yourself what you need⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. Stop chasing happiness in temporal, external things (Your contentment and peace of mind is YOUR work)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Stop complaining about the people in your life⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. Stop resenting and start forgiving⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7. Take action TODAY to make every relationship in your life better⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Your relationships are up to you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You can write the story how you want.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Your life is your responsibility and you lose all your power when you blame other people for how it's turning out.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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YOU are the ONE. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Which of the 7 above do you want to work on? I have mine!!!

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Reminded of an article @paigeknudsen contributed to my blog years ago and was thinking that some of you may need to hear her words about the space where your dreams and callings collide.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"teaching preschoolers. mentoring young mamas. creating art. advocating for the poor. going back to college at 52. opening a coffee shop. writing a book. staring a new career. saving pennies for a mission trip. buying a car. restoring economic opportunities in a haitian community.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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i obviously have no idea what your dream is. but I believe that He, the giver of all good gifts, has placed a dream in your heart. He’s not only placed a dream in your heart, He’s gifted you to walk into that space where the dream & the calling join hands and welcome you in. maybe you’re already there. maybe your sweet spot, the place where you are effective and confident and thriving, is already a part of your everyday."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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YES & AMEN.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Those nudges that you’d like to do this or that? Those desires are God given and what a privilege to be able to create more love and kindness and good and beauty in the world.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you want a very FUN kick in the booty toward the goals and dreams, check out my stories today and GET YOURSELF to my live event, YOUR BEST BEAUTIFUL YEAR!! It's amazing and you'll be so glad you decided to make your GROWTH a priority. Your whole family will benefit!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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WILL I SEE YOU THERE?!?!????!

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I think the path to living the life you were created to live often looks like being willing to suffer the pain of exposure, being willing to admit, at least to yourself, that things are not as they should be—that you often fail to measure up to the standards that you or society or your church has set for you. That you’re still a mess of epic proportions.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Often what we do instead is hide away. Hide our emotions, hide our sins, hide our stories, hide somewhere safe behind the thin veil of religion, pride, status, wealth, a job, a degree, an addiction, or the self-obsesssion that often comes with trying to so hard to be what we think the world wants.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And we all do it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But friends, you’ve been given work to do, a story to tell, and people to serve.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don’t let fear keep you from doing in the world what only you can do. Yes, there will be fire and yes, there will be pain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The alternative is to stay closed and stuck.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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BUT. If you open yourself, your mouth, your heart up—in the process, you will learn to live fully alive in your giftings, free from what has shamed you and caused you to hide yourself, free to finally love and serve the people God has put right in front of you with everything that is in you, free to walk through fire to find your way home.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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XOXOXO⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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p.s. If you're local, I'm speaking at Arrowhead Church in Morristown tonight and would love to see you there! Dinner is at 6 and I'll .be speaking at 7! Link to grab tickets in my stories!!!

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Thursday morning chronicles with Tom Tom—

7am Wake him up in plenty of time to get dressed, eat something, play with the dogs, finish his math and ride his razor.

7:10 Get him dressed in his school uniform and smooch his face all over because he’s so darn cute.

7:20 Give him his 15 minute warning and remind him we have to finish his math before we leave.

7:30 Five minute warning while I finish my chores.

7:32 He yells upstairs that he has pee all over his shirt, so I go downstairs to investigate. Sure enough. A dinner plate sized pee stain on the front of his uniform shirt.
“Tom, what in the world happened to your shirt?” He looks surprised, “All I did was go outside and pee and it got all over me.” I take a deep breath, bite my tongue and tell him that I’m going to get clean clothes for him and he better meet me in the car in 30 seconds because we have to leave.

7:35 I get in the car with his clean clothes and his unfinished math homework and start slowly pulling out of the driveway.

7:37 I drive slowly past the front door at which point I spot him getting on his razor. “Tom, get in this car right now or I’m leaving.” He doesn’t. I drive slowly away.
He gives me a good headstart and then starts chasing me, half nekkid, down our long drive. I stop to give him a chance to get in. He makes a quick turn to the right and yells, “I’ll dis meet you at Becky’s by the horses.” 7:40 I spot him running as fast as he can through the fields and back yards and long grass. He opens the door and jumps in, with a grin a mile wide, just as proud of himself as he could be. He gets dressed and buckled in no time flat, breathing heavy and asking me why I’m so mean.

7:41 I tell him that if he doesn’t finish his math on the way to school, he may have to miss recess. (Blatant LIE but at this point, I AM TAPPED OUT.) He keeps handing me his math sheet, while shaking his head and asking me to read it to him and telling me he “ain’t too good at math. Or readin either." He finishes just in time to jump out of my car and barrel into school with all the pride of a boy who has conquered the world.

Just curious? How was your morning?

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They don’t call me an Appalachian medicine woman for nothing.😂🤩🤠 Tom Tom told me last week that I needed to bring oils to his teacher. “She would like ‘em cause she’s jist like you.” Not sure what that meant but I have some miracle stories with my potions. One of my fave things lately? Slathering my knee in Marjoram. (ACL tear in April doing a race). That combined with the magic of my gym @10experience and the brilliance of @absolute_tx and Zac’s amazing therapy, I pr’d my deadlift yesterday at 253 pounds!!!! MAMA IS GETTING STRONGER. I may have done the happy dance. 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 What amazing results have you had with these unicorn tears?!?

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