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31 Days to Hospitality::Day 7 Solitude

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This is day 7 in a 31 day series on hospitality.   You can start from the beginning here.

We often have nothing to give others because we are bankrupt.

The irony is that we haven’t learned to help others because we haven’t learned to help ourselves.

Solitude is how we help ourselves.

It is in solitude that we develop a rich inner life that sustains us and spills over into the lives of others.

In Radical Hospitality, Pratt says that,

“When we are alone, we have cut off our normal routes to escaping ourselves.  Not only that, solitude hacks off most of the usual ways we feel affirmed.  In solitude, we cease being competent workers.   We do no serve or nurture others in solitude, and we seldom talk.  Once amputated from these normal support systems, we discover a throbbing restlessness that begins to surface.  Ancient wounds to the psyche begin ascending into the conscious region of the mind.  They float up like long dead bodies.  Illusions shatter around us and wisdom gets  a chance to get hold of us.”

Most of us are scared to death of solitude.   We know that our demons linger there.  We are haunted by the truth about ourselves and solitude threatens to expose us.

But if you can stay with solitude long enough to get past the initial pangs of emptiness and helplessness, you will find a beauty and strength there that cannot be possessed in any other way.

Your demons aren’t that scary when exposed to the light of day.  The emptiness is a God-given longing for home, for Him.   He is in the solitude.  It’s His face we find there and it’s there where we come to truly cherish this life, these relationships.

Learning to be alone is a spiritual discipline.  It takes practice.  And it’s become nearly impossible in our modern world full of chaos and distractions.

Pratt says,

“We possess inward solitude at a very high cost.  It does not come easily.  In solitude, we feel helpless and almost out of control.  We have grown dependent on others and the noises we make at each other.  We do not even know how to imagine our lives without the bustle.”

 

The problem is, most of us moderns have neither solitude nor true relationship.   We live our lives in the murky middle, where it’s comfortable and doesn’t cost us anything.

But true relationship and solitude both require us to be fully present, fully alive to both our fears and our deepest vulnerabilities.

I like to call it living on the dangerous edge of life, where joy is possible but so is falling.

You can stay in your comfort zone and miss the danger.

Or you can enter the wild abundant life that awaits just on the other side of solitude.

The riches you will discover there will lead you to a life that naturally overflows to your neighbor and meets his need without you even trying.

Solitude breeds hospitality.   In silence, true conversation is born.  Out of my emptiness and heartache, I see how desperately I need others.

And falling is finally the least of my worries.

When all else around me is quiet,  I can finally hear His voice.

Only then do I have something worth sharing.

 

Reader Interactions

Comments

  4. wstyrsky says

    I am coming to see that even at my age, I am not comfortable with who I am. Truly, I am not sure I like who I am or that others like me! There…I stepped out and did it!

    Reply

  5. Ruth says

    Beautiful perspective. Such truth to keep my mind focused on.
    “When all else around me is quiet,  I can finally hear His voice.
    Only then do I have something worth sharing.”

    Reply

  6. Ginger says

    This is exactly why God gave us the 4th Commandment, so that we would be still, and know that He is God.
    Luther was once quoted as saying….”Tomorrow I have a much to accomplish, so today I need to pray an extra hour.”

    We are physical as well as spiritual creatures, and as such God gave us the gift of rest for each, sleep each day, and one day in the week to rest with our eyes of faith on our Savior….The Lord’s Day is a day in which we find the command to rest ourselves from our daily (temporal) works (which for six days are lawful and good; ie work is good thing) however it is not where we find our ultimate rest, which can only be found in Christ and His last statement “It is finished.”
    We are a people that are in a hurry, always in a hurry, and need to be told to stop and meditate upon God’s promises, that are all “Yes in Christ Jesus.”
    Solitude is not an end in an of itself, it is an means to an end, and the end always has to be Christ, where by faith we find our ultimate rest.
    Blessings

    Reply

  7. nita says

    I can so relate. I can’t stand how crazy busy life gets and all I want is a day of quiet. Then that day comes and I can’t stand that either, I feel lonely and get depressed because I feel like I have no friends! If I could just get past that and focus on all the blessings I do have and the gift of beauty that surrounds me maybe I could see if for what it is, A wonderful quiet day of peace all to myself with out all the hustle and bustle of life and thank God for the gift.

    Reply

  8. alex says

    I appreciate you….i used to feel so lonely and confused like everyone had left me behind but every single time I come to your blog I am uplifted. Thank god for your spirit because it brings light to mine.

    Reply

  9. Amanda Medlin says

    This is wonderful! The Lord has been dealing with me about the lack of solitude and quiet in my own life. I never thought about it being the precursor to deeper relationships and hospitality. Thank you for your insight!

    Reply

  10. Trudy says

    Beautiful. I require solitude. When the boys were young and my husband would take them out for the day or evening I felt as if I could “fly”. I was so refreshed when they returned home. Renewed… with lots of “me” to give.
    Aren’t we a wonderfully blessed bunch of beings to share these sacred thoughts and feelings? Thank you so very much Edie!
    Sincerely, Trudy

    Reply

  11. Carol says

    It can be difficult to hear God through all of the noise. Twice a year, for three or four days, I go away on a silent retreat at a retreat house here in Michigan. It takes me a good 24 hours to still my voice and be silent to hear what God wants to tell me. When I come home to my husband and three boys I am renewed, refreshed and ready to serve!!! I love your wisdom you share in this blog Edie, thank you!

    Reply

  13. tara lowry says

    solitude allows us to come face to face with the parts of our hearts not yielded to the Lord.
    it begs us to surrender our fears and our wounds.

    i’ve walked with Him for 20+ years, and i’m just now getting over the fear of spending time fully alone with him. i’ve done it for years to check it off the list, but i haven’t truly embraced time alone. i did most of the talking..shocker. listening is miraculous. he really talks to me. he reminds me of his word that he’s written in my heart. i’m crying now just thinking about how many years i’ve water being afraid of his voice….or maybe afraid that he wouldn’t whisper to me…yeah, that’s what it was.

    anywho, edie, you have a way with words, and i thank God for it.

    Reply

  14. Kelly says

    Oh, I’m an introvert… and on the mission field… and called to hospitality. But God graciously gifted us a house with a balcony (that can only be accessed from our Master bedroom). He’s good like that. So even if there are 7 extra people sleeping in my house… I can sneak away to my balcony and breathe a bit. So. necessary.

    Reply

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