I’m going out of town. By myself. Tomorrow. I have the same feeling as I did the night before I went to Disney World when I was 7. Sheer childlike anticipation. I’m going to Birmingham to watch my son race and to stay with one of my dearest friends in the whole world. I also plan to eat (food that I didn’t cook), shop, drink Starbucks, listen to Madame Bovary on tape, listen to Sweet Home Alabama, read, think, stay up all night and talk and cry and laugh and laugh til’ I cry. My friends Johnny and Susan are so wonderful and so funny and even though I haven’t seen them in a couple of years, it’ll be like I never left. Don’t ya love friends like that. So, in their honor and because I like things with themes…..I listened to Sweet Home Alabama all day.
My girls asked me at 4:00, “Mom, how many times are we gonna listen to Sweet Home Alabama?” Until you can say Lynard Skynard three times fast. Okay?
Then, it started. My crazy ‘going out of town’ routine where I temporarily go insane. Let me remind you, I’m only going to be gone 48 hours. I bake and clean and pack and write notes as if my family is likely to never see me again. So, pretend you can hear Sweet Home Alabama in the background and let me show you some of the stuff I did today.
I fired this guy up. My double ovens which I like to call ‘W’ ’cause I love George Bush and my last name starts with ‘W’. And they work like pack mules all day long for me…..most days….while I bake as if I’m runnin’ some kind of bakery. Like yesterday, when I whipped up four dozen of these babies……
so that the bachelors will have plenty of cookies while I’m gone…for forty eight hours….
then ‘W’ baked pumpkin bread which I “spiced” up by adding butterscotch chips! Oh dear, you need to try this. It’s like the reserved, smart , red -headed twin sister to my chocolate chip banana bread. Some members of my family did not warmly welcome the twin……they ONLY like blonds, apparently. But you can’t always make CCBB (choc.chip ban bread). And it’s fall. So I made pumpkin. They’ll warm up to her as soon as the rest of the CCBB is gone. Then they’ll regret their lukewarm welcome.
Okay, now don’t tell the members of my family, but I did make one more loaf of CCBB and I’m sneaking it out to the car to take to the Wards who live in sweethomeAlabama. Noone can know. They’ll break into my car and steal it. And eat it. All. Shhhhh.
To prepare for tonite’s dinner and for the manfood extravaganza that is sure to take place while I’m gone, I marinated 2 london broils with these ingredients and then browned them on the grill……(at 9am, BTW)
I then cooked one of them in a slow roaster all day at 200 degrees, to cut up and put in the man-chili. The other one was broiled about 8 minutes per side and served as traditional london broil with garlic mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts….at 7pm. It was fantastic and will lend itself to yummy leftovers…….I see nachos in Marcus’s future…
The chili is still simmering and will be ready for the bachelors to partake of tomorrow.
Then, I got my hostess and sitter gifts together. These fun aprons with a jar of my homeade strawberry jelly. My darling sister is taking the two ‘little’ girls camping with her! I’m so thankful for her in their lives. They adore her and her only request was homeade strawberry jelly. Check.
Then I gathered tools for my next ‘job’ of the day. What am I embarking on, you ask? As if this display of tools doesn’t give it away, I’m gonna clean out the tub drain in the downstairs bathroom. I honestly don’t know why the ‘Oh-to-be-25-again’ nail polish is in the line up. I don’t have plans to use her for the clean out. She’s just there-for moral support, I suppose. Why, when I have plenty to do, would I pick today to clean out the drain? Because I have plumber skills and am I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. (And the last time I hired a plumber for the job, it costed me $40 per drain…..I have no lies to tell–that’s $160 for four drains….I could buy a mulitude of MAC eye shadows and a new purse and some new shoes for that……or you know invest it or something) Back to my plumber skills.
I had to solicit the help of macdaddy and Marcus to muscle the drain-thingy out. Then I started digging. This is not a job for the faint of heart and if you’re feeling a little nauseated, don’t look at the next picture, ’cause I’m not exactly sure what kind of gargantuan-hairy-gooey mess came out….
I nearly dry-heave just to show it to you. But I just wanted you to know that I have plumber skills……and no crack……showing, that is….
Now you Southerners may not know this little ointment wonder. It’s apparently loved by vets everywhere. Stevie’s family from MN taught me all about it and showed me how to squeeze a little into a small container to function as ‘chapstick’. I LOVE IT. It’s called Corona and can be used for various and sundry purposes such as “preserving the natural moisture balance of the horny wall?, to protect and prevent drying and cracking teats and udders, and minor cuts and lacerations from ropes and wires.” Or as chapstick. But you use it for whatever you want.
So, I scooped a little into my empty MAC eye shadow container and I’m good to go. Ready for ALMOST anything.
I applied some in the car……on my lips…..and thought you might want to see the effect. I like it. It’s udderly soothing. Sorry. I’m easily amused.
Then we arrived at ballet where I wisked Emme into class (isn’t she just adorable) and then commenced the much dreaded job of purse clean out. Which I last tackled when I bought this current purse. It’s not pretty, but here’s a few random items I found sloshing around in the bottom…..
a toothbrush, a rope of NERDS, a booklight, 12 tubes of lip gloss, a Jesus Saves cross made from popsicle sticks, a pair of running socks, 12,000 receipts, lotion, motrin and m&m’s apparently spilled from somewhere and in various states of decay…..okay I won’t bore you with the rest…..but let’s just say, it took nearly the whole ballet class. It’s a big purse, cut me some slack.
Back at the compound, I noticed what a beauty this little ensemble is. It better not freeze while I’m gone. Will the bachelors take the time to cover these pretty little flowers with a warm sheet? Will they feed Scooter? Will they watch football?
There they are right now, scrambling to get the new HD receiver hooked up. It’s been sitting there for many days, so what would drive them into such a frenzy to get it hooked up tonite before 9:30 EST? The Cubs play tonite……at 9:30 EST. I’m cookin’ and packin’ and retrievin’ large scary things from the drain……and they are, well dealin’ with important issues of sports in high definition.
I REALLY need to get the oil changed in this bad boy before tomorrow but as you can tell…..it’s dark and there’s no time left. So, if my engine blows up on my way down South , people will eat well and drains will drain well, and I’ll be sittin’ on the side of the road waitin’ for AAA listening to Sweet Home Alabama eating CCBB.