lifeingrace » ADD

Today’s (Not-So) Creative Blog Post

edie — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 16:33:00 +0000

hello, my name is edie and i have ADD.

i’m highly distracted by all things shiny, and sweet….

and colorful…..

so, when i should be sleeping, i sew quilt squares…….

and when we should be counting by 6′s, we’re fighting over who gets to play (frightfully bang) on the new-to-us piano……

and when we should be ironing laundry, we sit in our new craft studio and chat.it.up. about all the fun stuff we’re gonna sew and knit and glue……

okay, and we also admire the little love note Caiti left us last week……

and when I should be organizing my dreadful desk, I find out that Kim has featured lifeingrace on Today’s Creative Blog!!! today could be a lost cause! Thank you Kim for making my day.

all in all, we’re still not doing so bad, it’s 12:50 and so far we’ve:

listened to 3 chapters of king arthur

sewed 10 quilt squares

played ‘onward christian soldiers’ 27 times on the piano

read a chapter in our reading book

recited our new poem, ‘rebecca, who slammed doors for fun and perished miserably’ 5 times

recited our old poem ‘the spider and the fly’ once—-it’s very long

finished our spelling and grammar lessons

listened to ‘positoovity’ while practicing our tap dance

counted by 3′s, 4′s and 6′s in an effort to learn our multiplication tables

completed our history lesson on the ‘east/west schism’ of the catholic church

practiced our irish dancing to a song called ‘the queen’s jig’

contemplated a trip to K-Mart (aka Kame-Apart) to look for baby bottles (for emme’s doll)

made brownies and started dinner—which so far includes beef and tomatoes

now, it’s break time, and i’m heading back up to steal away some time on emme’s sewing machine! weeelllll, unless i spot something shiny or colorful on the way up!

100 things Edition 2 (big yawn)

edie — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:00:00 +0000

If you’re really bored and don’t have any laundry to fold, take a seat, drink some coffee (you’ll need it to stay awake) and stroll down memory lane with me.

21. I double majored in chemistry and biochemistry in college with a minor in biology. I would have made a pathetic chemist. Chemists should be precise and serious and a little neurotic.
22. I am a summa cum laude graduate of the University of Tennesee 1994. I had two babies at the time and studied alot. Maybe back then I was precise and serious and a little neurotic.
24. I was the secretary of my medical school class. I redefined that role to entail baking bread and cookies frequently for my class mates. I’m sure that surprises no one. I can’t remember doing anything ‘secretarial’.
25. I have always been athletic. I played almost every sport in high school, broke my hand playing flag football in med school, trained and finished a few half marathons, and can’t remember a time when I didn’t ‘work out’. As I approach my fortieth birthday, I’d like to train for ‘something’…..a marathon, a triathlon, a hotdog eating contest……..unless you have any better ideas for me?
26. I gained 12 pounds with my first pregnancy and did aerobics nearly until I delivered. 20 yo bodies were meant to have babies. I loved being pregnant. Every time. I would have a quiver full if I could. There is nothing more miraculous than giving life to a child from your own strong able body.
27. I have so many regrets about my early days as a parent. Can I get a do-over? Why is it that when you finally ‘figure out’ how to do this parenting thing, your oldest is graduating high school?
28. My father passed away when I was 27. He died from complications of lung cancer and cirrhosis. I lived 2 hours away and the night they called to tell me he ‘wasn’t going to make it much longer’, I prayed the whole way that he wouldn’t die before I got there. When I walked into the room, his breathing was labored. He died twenty minutes later. I cried and hugged him and held his hand and sang Amazing Grace to him as he passed from this life to the next. I know he waited for me. I can’t wait to see him again someday.
29. Watching Grey’s Anatomy has been a little like reliving parts of my past. And I knew from the start of the show that I’m definitely an Izzie. I get too attached. I struggle with boundaries. I had several regular patients to whom I gave money and rides home and my cell phone number. I prayed for them often and always had a sense that their over arching spiritual and life issues were often at the heart of their physical complaints. I miss doctoring. I miss the sacred bonds of the doctor patient relationship. It has been one of life’s greatest honors; to care for the sick and afflicted and dying.
30. I met Stevie just after I had told my first patient he was dying from pancreatic cancer. Despite my herculean efforts, two tears escaped as I held my patients’ hand and tried to give him hope. When I left the room, my heart broke into a thousand tears. A knight in green scrubs rescued me. I have been trying to say thank you ever since.
31. A brief period of darkness ensued. I will summarize by saying that the love of Christ is tenacious. God chased me down dark and twisty roads. I ran for my life and in circles and He was always there, breathing heavy into the recesses of my want and pleading with me to stop. He has been determined from the start to have the last word in my life. I’m trying to sit still and listen.
32. I am an ESFP on the MB personality test. To refresh your memory, that means: extrovert, sensing, feeling, perceiving. If you’ve been reading my blog very long, you probably already know that.
33. I am a foodie. My dream kitchen would have an eight burner Viking gas stove, 3 ovens, a built in deep fryer and wine refrigerator, a commercial coffee maker, a sous chef, and an entire collection of vintage aprons.
34. I don’t read chick lit. The closest I come to chick lit is The Red Tent. If there is a chick lit book that you think I must read, send me an email. Otherwise, my night stand will continue to look like that of a 40 year old male seminary student.
35. I am neurotic about smells. I love a fresh, clean smelling house. And fresh clean smelling kids. And fresh clean smelling pets. My car….. now that’s another story.
36. I married an IITJ. Opposites attract.
37. I love old style country music. I grew up listening to George Jones and Johnny Cash and Tammy Wynette. I could bust out a good Loretta Lynn song at the least provocation. My children can roll their eyes and testify to that.
38. I am growing weary of the ’100 things’ list. ADDers should never start a ’100 things’ list.
39. I feel fairly certain I won’t have the sticktoittiveness to finish it.
40. But you probably already knew that too.

Let the Games Begin……I own Resolutions.

edie — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 01:24:00 +0000

The big clean-out/take-down has begun. It’s 9p and the only thing I can be sure of is that the American Girl accessories now have their very own slighty-used storage container. What a blessed gift to find an purse belonging to ‘Kit’ only to say to my daughter, “You know exactly where this goes, don’t you?” So this is what life is like in non-ADD land? And I’m not sure who loves the American girls more……Emme and Elea…..or Hank. He’s turning out to be quite the ladies man.
In between eating hard-boiled eggs (Thanks Michele) and protein bars and sorting through way too many AG doll clothes, I read some more in my new ADD book. I learned 3 more gems.

1. We ADDers must use retractable pens. The caps are otherwise too distracting and can disturb our already jumpy train-of-thought. I did not get the memo on that one.

2. We tend to let laundry ‘loiter’ in the laundry room. I love that. Not the piles but calling it ‘loitering’. ADD is so much fun.

3. We apparently have no business owning wire shoes racks. That extra step of making sure the shoe lodges onto its holder is enough to push us over the edge. We’re supposed to pare our shoe collection down to a bare minimum and then we get a pass……to store them ON the closet floor. I’m beginning to wander if I’m capable of running my own dishwasher. We probably let dishes ‘loiter’ too.

Then there’s the other book which I believe Jessica (from Musings) recommended. It is very provoking and has given me some much needed ‘inspiration’ to keep on trucking with homeschooling.
My neighbor and friend Leigh Anne has so kindly offered to come and help me in the school room tomorrow. I’ve been working in there already today and you’ll soon see why I need supervision. My mother usually comes to help me with such projects…..she’s perfect for the job. Focused, slightly irritable if I get off task, and such a worker bee. Leigh Anne has promised to fill the ‘slightly irritable’ portion of the qualifications if I find myself led off on a tangent by a stack of old pictures. Tough love, Leigh Anne. I’m not easy to wrangle in. My mother is probably so glad she’s in Key West.
Life with ‘Hanker Down’ has been so much fun. He got to play with another English golden this weekend and they were instant friends. Our dear friends Cara and Drew brought Brody over to play. He was a welcome playmate after the intense cold shoulder Scooter’s been giving.
Oh, and Elea wanted me to show you the Littlest Pet Shop Fitness Club. At least somebody’s working out this week.
And finally, here’s where a smidge of ADD comes in handy. I bought this cool scrapbook paper at Walmart this morning. At 5:30 in the am. Thankyouverymuch. I wasn’t exactly sure what I would do with it, but I got quickly inspired when I found myself facing a huge basket of 8,756 unrelated items that needed to be sorted through. I’ve got just the cure for that.
I used modge podge on the back and then hung the letters on the wall in random order in the school room.
There’s a whole page of each letter in all colors and sizes.
And oh my dear…..it turned out so cute. You must try this at home. Now don’t go asking technical questions like what happens when you try to take the letters off. Those of us with ADD seldom consider such consequences. We get inspired……and go for it! Anything’s better than the basket I was facing.
What’d ya think?

New Year’s Resolutions. Where optimism reigns.

edie — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:22:00 +0000

It’s getting dangerously close to January 1. The day we all collectively sign on the dotted line of those New Years resolutions we intend to make. I’ve always been a ‘resolutions’ kind of a girl. I love fresh starts, new beginnings, second chances. And reading Jen’s post inspired me to write about the things I want to change. There’s something kinda vulnerable about making your resolutions known. They seem more ‘official’ and thus the guilt begins to creep in because I know don’t have the best track record of keeping them. The one I seem to keep fairly consistently is exercise. So I always hate going to the gym on January 1st with eight million people I’ve never seen at the gym before vying for the same set of dumbells. The comfort is, I know they won’t be there on Feb. 1. And similiarly, my impeccably organized pantry on Jan. 1st will look like twenty toddlers have been rummaging around in it by Feb. 1st. I slowly seem to make some good lasting changes but I’m not setting any records here. I’ll let you have a peek of my preliminary list….and maybe you can help me.

1. I need to lose a little weight. I have gained 8-12 pounds since I quit working. Depends on what time of day, what day of the month, you know what I mean. My fat jeans are a little snug. I’d like to lose 10-12 pounds but I have a serious sugar addiction…..and reactive hypoglycemia. I exercise regularly and will begin training for a half marathon next week. But I must find a way to cut out sugar. Today is the first day I haven’t had ‘my quota’ of sugar and I felt really well all day. But I have intense cravings. Like a meth addict. Or worse. This resolution though seemingly vain has far reaching effects sometimes. I think about ‘the fix’. I get the ‘fix’ (fudge or cookies or whathaveyou. I’m on a high. I crash. I’m irritable until the next ‘fix’. It’s a vicious cycle that drives me crazy. I cannot continue to be home 24 hours a day if I don’t find a way to control this. And I’ve tried pictures of skinny 18 year olds in bikini’s on the frig door. Doesn’t work. I find myself talking to her and saying things like: ”Yeah, enjoy it now. But you just wait til you have four kids and an addiction to sugar. And you know what, you’re too skinny anyways. You look like a 13 yo boy. I like my curves. Now move out of the way so I can get some ice cream, sister. Got any other suggestions?

2. I have to start planning for Taylor’s graduation. My son Taylor graduates from high school this May. I have a party to plan, a scrapbook to finish, pictures to scan, a video to make, and various other fun things I’d like to do for him. Plus a million more tears to cry. This kind of life change is stressful enough so I’d like to minimize the chaos toward the end. Help me plan. He’s a musician and a runner so I’m trying to come up with a clever ‘theme’ for the party. I cried during High School Musical Three ’cause Troy was graduating….and Taylor looks like Troy to me….’cause he’s a boy…..and has dark hair. So, what about a HSM 3 party? There’s plenty of party favors to be found, that’s for sure. (My sister is laughing profusely). Don’t like my idea? Well give me some so that I can begin to work on graduation announcements.

I wanted to teach him ballroom dancing before he graduates too. But that’ll be hard since I don’t know how. Should we take a few lessons together? Am I too ambitious?

3. We need a little more structure in our homeschool. Overall, I love homeschooling. Love it. We’re having a ball. But it’s hard to gauge how we’re doing. I could do a better job at planning. The problem is I’m a very enthusiastic starter of things. And often a very poor finisher. We have been doing a very laid back grammar program and I’m starting Shurley Grammar in January. My school room needs a little work too. I did a great job getting it organized, but keeping it organized is another story. I’m not sure it’s realistic for me to write down lesson plans……but I need a little more structure. I need a teacher’s aide. That’s what I need. Any takers? The pay is lousy but it’d be fun.

4. I could tweak my meal planning a bit to include more low fat options. My meal planning is pretty good but since I’ll be working on #1 I’ll have to make some changes in the content of the food. Maybe I need some new lighter recipes…..with a little less butter and cream. More protein shakes and bars for meal replacements. I LOVE to cook and cook a lot. But I spare no fat. My family can tell too…..if the recipes’ been ‘lightened’ up. They’re like detectives. Maybe I’ll just have to cook normally and eat very small portions. Or gnaw on carrot sticks while they eat creamy cajun pasta.

5. I’d like to have a more structured Bible reading scheme. I use Treasury of Daily Prayer for daily devotions. I’d like to, in addition to that, read the Bible through chronologically. There are online sources that give a schedule but if you have any suggestions, let me know. I’m compiling my reading list for ’09 but I’m not done yet. Do you have any awesome, life-changing books I need to add?

6. I’d like to become a better writer. Blogging has made me realize how much I love writing. Deep down, I’d love to write a book someday, but for now, I’d settle for a published article. I’d like to take a creative writing class but how do you do that and keep up with home activities? I’ve been reading a lot of online articles about writing which only increases my appetite for more. And then watching Marley and Me this weekend made me wanna have my own column. And made me cry profusely for 45 minutes, but that’s beside the point. I have started a ‘writing’ journal’ where I will keep ideas for ‘blogs’ or articles and also great quotes or paragraphs by other authors. Any other suggestions?

The other blogging related resolution I have is to get more organized and efficient with how I spend my computer time. I keep finding more blogs I like to read…..and keep thinking of more things I like to write, but my family needs to eat and wear clean clothes and live in a clean house, so I need to be more purposeful about it I think. What’s your system or do you have one? Do you subscribe to blogs in a reader or just bookmark them or what?

7. I want to be more purposeful in serving my neighbor. I need to find some nursing home people for the girls and I to visit regularly. Maybe volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Service projects of some sort that the girls and I can get involved in. Any suggestions?

8. I need more organization in my home. I need a professional organizer to come to my house and order me around. My house almost always looks clean and organized so I’m pretty good with the big picture. But the details, now that’s another story. This is probably where I need my ultra-organized and tidy neighbors Sue and Leigh Ann to come over and help. My new ADD book said in big bold letters: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BUY ANY MORE PLASTIC CONTAINERS. I rolled into the floor laughing. Apparently all people with ADD have this misconception that the problem with their lack of organization is the supplies they’ve been working with…..so we go buy more containers with every confidence that this will be the solution we’ve been needing. No kidding, I’m a container freak. And yet if you ask me to find say, the red polka dotted scrapbook paper, I’d hunt for an hour and then I’d get sidetracked by my old yearbook that I happened to run across and you’d find me sitting in the basement laughing hysterically. Then you’d have to remind me what it was I was looking for in the first place. Such is the life with ADD.

But I’m not discouraged. I’m an optimist. This is gonna be my year. To get organized and charitable and skinny and spiritual and to become very teacherly. That’s why I love resolutions. Despite any past failures in these areas, I am fully confident that strides will be made and goals accomplished. You pessimists out there are shaking your heads, aren’t you? You don’t even make resolutions because you’ve seen the outcome too many times. You will sit on the resolutions’ sideline and just wait to see how long it takes until I’ve given in……when I’m only in the book of Exodus is July…….and I can’t find Taylor’s senior picture in May…….and I’m joining Weight Watchers in March. But that’s okay. I love having tasks and goals. And if only one of them ‘sticks’…..well, that’s better than nothing.

Good thing God doesn’t use ‘resolution theology’ with us. He knows us too well. So he designed a plan that didn’t hinge on our sticktoittiveness. He went the whole way. Accomplished it all for us so that even when we fail, he forgives and gives us ’new mercies every morning’. Even with our ‘mostly likely to fail’ list of changes we intend to make, He has a plan that never fails. I think schemes for personal improvement can be valuable. I’m just thankful that’s not how my relationship with God works.

So, what’s on your list or have you forsaken ‘the list’ altogether?

Confessions of a frustrated overachiever……

edie — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 12:45:00 +0000

Sure fire signs you have adult ADD…… and probably need professional help:
1. You are addicted to one or more of the following substances/activities: coffee, exercise, adrenalin, diet pepsi, Full Throttle, sugar, chocolate, RockStar, Monster, internet dance tutorials .
2. You cannot unload your dishwasher all at once. You unload the top, then make the coffee. Then you unload the bottom, followed by folding half a load of laundry. Finally, you put away the silverware. And later you do the other half of the load of laundry.
3. You cannot go for a run without your ‘audio adrenaline’ (ipod) and you change the songs frequently to avoid boredom.
4. You lose your keys. Frequently. And misplace all receipts. And forget to pay your child’s dance tuition. And can’t find the book that you just received from Amazon YESTERDAY. You make plans and vows that from this day forward you will always put things away where they go. You last 3 minutes.
5. You have ten books all ‘in progress’ . You make deals with yourself that before the clock strikes ten, you must finish chapter 3 of say….Heart of Darkness. Only to get distracted by how to do a turn in the waltz…… which drives you to the computer…..45 minutes later you go back to bed and vaguely remember that there was something very important you were gonna do before you starting waltzing.
6. You have countless unfinished projects in your house….because you’re great at STARTING things, but easily lose interest. Like that one small area in your kitchen that you never painted…from 4 years ago. Despite the fact that you’ve repainted the other walls 3 times.
7. You have to use every ounce of restraint within you to sit through a whole movie….vowing only to get up for extreme bodily emergencies. Despite the effort, you’re up and down no less than 12 times. In one hour.
8. Change is like air to you. You cannot for the life of you follow anything that might slightly suggest a schedule. Your girls (that you homeschool) notice this and remind you often that math comes after bible.
9. This need for variety is evident in your cooking. You make nearly 30 different dishes in 30 days. And when greek stir fry comes up in the rotation, you find several ways to ‘change’ it from last time.
10. You almost never wear the exact same outfit. Unless it’s supercute and then you wear it 4 days in a row. Although you’ve made amazing strides in your spending, you are unable to pass up that pair of Steve Madden boots that was on sale for $20. Despite the fact that you have many more boots than you can safely fit in your closet. And you have nowhere to wear them.
11. You are always talking about organizing…..coming up with elaborate organizing systems…and buying multiple organizing containers. Only to find that all those methods/systems/containers require supervision from someone who does not have ADD.
12. You make stacks of things everywhere….with good intentions to process through all those bills/books/magazines/etc. Three months later you realized you missed the deadline to redeem your free gift at the bookstore. That was in the bottom of a stack that you never got to. Along with the physical form for your sons’ Cross Country team— and the season just ended.
13. You realize these weaknesses and do the best you can to plan your tasks in small-doable increments….and for the most part, live a productive normal life. But you often fall prey to books with this title: Organizing Solutions for People with ADD: Tips and Tools for How to Take Charge of Your Life.
14. Your calendar looks like you were crawling with activity in August and September and then either died or misplaced your calendar for ten months. But you have all the hope in the world…that next years’ gonna be the year for you. So you make your new years resolutions with vigor. And buy a different kind of calendar…thinking that the one from last year just wasn’t…….big enough. You’re gonna keep a calendar…..and all your appointments….and balance your check book……and follow a diet program. January 25 comes and you’re sure you’ve missed someone’s birthday but you can’t remember who……or where your calendar is…..or where that pesky food journal went.
If you feel scared that I’ve crawled inside your brain and told all your darkest secrets….be comforted. Here’s the upside for people with ADD and their loved ones: These are the reasons people love you…..taken from an adult ADD website.

Positive characteristics of adults with ADD / ADHD
The symptoms of ADD / ADHD are not all negative. People with ADD / ADHD also have many positive traits that are directly tied to their active, impulsive minds:

Creativity – People with ADD excel at thinking outside of the box, brainstorming, and finding creative solutions to problems. Because of their flexible way of thinking about things, they tend to be more open-minded, independent, and ready to improvise.
Enthusiasm and spontaneity – People with ADD are free spirits with lively minds—qualities that makes for good company and engrossing conversation. Their enthusiasm and spontaneous approach to life can be infectious.
A quick mind – People with ADD have the ability to think on their feet, quickly absorb new information (as long as it’s interesting), and multitask with ease. Their rapid-fire minds thrive on stimulation. They adapt well to change and are great in a crisis.
High energy level – People with ADD have loads of energy. When their attention is captured by something that interests them, they can have virtually unlimited stamina and drive.

Remember this post is just general information. I had no specific person in mind. Really.