Enjoy this repost from last fall and have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
“I am so glad that you have come. I will pour out everything inside me so you may leave this table satisfied and fortified. Blessings on your eyes. Blessings on your children. Blessings on the ground beneath you. My heart is a ladle of sweet water, brimming over.”
Anita Diamant, The Red Tent
Archives for May 2009
The Fall
I don’t know if I’ve ever told you about this place. A magical little sanctuary that Stevie labored countless months and years over. A quaint little cottage that he had built for us in the middle of beautiful mountainous country, with a spring fed pond he researched and designed and personally stocked with all kinds of fish and a water trampoline. Paradise. Or pretty close.
Someone decided to trample on our dreams. They came in and took nearly everything ‘but the kitchen sink’ and this little sign.
Our little slice of Eden went from this….
to this…..overnight. And ditto for every other room.
We made the hours’ drive in a somber state of disbelief. We spent the day sifting through broken glass and precious memories. I guess the parallels are endless, but this is what happens in Eden. Everytime. The dream is fleeting. Paradise eludes us. At least for now.
But there is something about suffering that brings joy. And my words will fail to communicate what happened in my heart yesterday. But God is faithful. His mercies are new every morning. Reaching in to give us hope, and life, and salvation.
This song is dedicated to a man whose strength continually surprises me, whose love is redemptive and whose compassion for my ever present tears these days is heroic.
Exhibit A: Honor’s Day
It’s a curious thing, this homeschooling. There are so many things I love about it. The closeness (can’t peel them off me–EVER) with the children, the control over their environment, the classical training, the ability to impart Lutheran doctrine and practice, and even learning to be IN my house 24/7, are all reasons I’m beginning to embrace this lifestyle. I’m sure I’m not the only mom to struggle with the questions, “Are they doing enough”, “Am I pushing them too hard”, “Is bubble gum really THAT bad for their teeth?”
So, to calm my fears, I ordered achievement tests which I will be administering next week—in the most formal and ‘schoolhouse’ manner I can possibly muster up. I’m even gonna wear a teacher-ish outfit and wear my reading glasses on a string around my neck. It’s gonna be all school…all day. There will be an apple on the desk. We will say the Pledge of Allegiance. And then when I get ready to mail their answers in, I’m gonna enclose a copy of the following video, in hopes of a little extra credit. I’m sure the test won’t be able to extract from them all the wonderful things we’ve learned this year about the ancient Greeks and Romans. These two little girls have memorized more stuff than you can imagine. And who’s gonna test them on that? Who’s gonna ‘ooh’ and ‘ahhh’ at how smart they are? I guess we could have our own Honors Day, but we’ve done enough ‘presentations’ in front of the American girl dolls.
Therefore, I give you exhibit A. We don’t mess around here at Logos School. It’s all business. All the time. There is not one moment of the day we are not learning something. And I just have this teeny weeny need to prove to the world that I am not sitting around all day eating bon bons and watching Oprah. There is no time for nonsense when the forming of children’s minds is at stake. The girls recite for you a list of the most common Greek and Roman gods. In the most solemn, serious way. Our humble homeschool Honor’s Day presentation.
Worship Wars: A Case for Classical Worship
The Making over of my Bathroom and my Imagination
Decorating my home is not just a hobby for me. It is a part of a quest to create for my family a haven, a place that inspires us, beckons us to retreat from the world; and calls us to notice and enjoy the beauty all around. And my tastes are changing. I’m finding that my spiritual need to live simply and authentically translates well into the practical side of living too. Decorate with items that you love, that are beautiful, that inspire you. First, I want to show you the inspiration for my bathroom makeover. This bust of some Greek/Roman goddess/fairy beckoned me to bring her home. And I promised her that if she was 40% off—and still on the shelf—the next time I went to Hobby Lobby, I’d welcome her to our family. So, she was. And I did. We’ve named her Juno in honor of the great fun we’ve had studying the ancient Greek and Roman myths.
This bathroom makeover was an attempt to simplify—using what I already had—and adding a little paint and a little statue named Juno.
The walls got lighter…..
The tired and clunky medicine cabinet was removed and replaced with a simple mirror.
And Juno took her place upon the throne.
Maybe only the towels stayed exactly the same.
The project was cottage inspired–using the colors of the sea–with some natural elements such as shells and starfish to accent.
The vanity cabinet was painted a very dark brown….
and the two front cabinet doors were replaced. (I know, I’m schizophrenic—take the kitchen doors down, put the bathroom doors on). The look is so much more sleek and clean (minus the two wet, smelly dogs in the picture). I wanted to add a few quaint little details like vintage glass knobs and a towel ‘rope’, but those will have to wait for now.
Several smaller decorative items were removed in favor of the one large Roman goddess/garden fairy. She makes a bold statement in this little room. And though I have never been a fan of myths or fantasies, C.S. Lewis and George McDonald are teaching me. I am currently reading the book Phantastes by McDonald; a book that C.S. Lewis said, ‘baptized his imagination’. That alone intrigued me enough to want to read it. But mythopoeic writing is difficult for someone like me to read. It takes discipline and a certain sticktoitiveness, which I sometimes do not possess. It helps that my husband happens to love mythical writing and is re-reading the book with me so he can help me through it.
Here is what Lewis says of mythopoetic writing, “It is in some ways more akin to music than poetry. It arouses in us sensations we have never had before, never anticipated having, as though we had broken out of our normal mode of consciousness and ‘possessed joys not promised to us at our birth’. It gets under our skin, hits us at a level deeper than our thoughts or even our passions, troubles oldest certainties till all questions are reopened, and in general shocks us more fully awake than we are for most of our lives……it finally lets us feel in our face the sweet air blowing from the land of righteousness.”
When I’m finished reading these, they stay in the Fairy Cottage Bathroom! With Juno.
One mama’s journey through goodbye…..
It’s been a busy week for our family as we anticipate the fast approaching graduation of my son, Taylor. He was honored with many of his classmates this week as being among the class to receive more honors and scholarships than any other class in the history of West High School.
He graduates with first honors….with a weighted GPA above 4.0 (I’m still not sure how that’s possible)
and will attend East Tennessee State University on a music and academic scholarship, while his best friend Andrew was honored with all the same acolades and will attend King College (only about 20 miles from Taylor’s college) on an academic and cross country scholarship.
He was honored as a member of Who’s Who and was recognized as the male ‘senior of the year’ by his music teacher for his participation in Chamber Choir. It makes a mama proud. And brings a mama to tears. (and in retrospect, makes a mama wish she had insisted on that hair cut)!
To top off the week, his band, The Verity, was invited to play at the World’s Fair Park last night in Knoxville. The girls and I met my mom, my nieces and my nephew to tour the Sunsphere and enjoy downtown Knoxville before the concert started.
My mother’s best friend from childhood, whom I also call my 2nd mom, is the owner of the historic Thackston School, which burned a few months back and had to relocate the Holiday Inn Convention Center; conveniently located about 50 yards from the World’s Fair ampitheater. Her son, John, just happens to have the best view of Knoxville, with his office in the top of the Sunsphere. Needless to say, it was a fun field trip.
This is the view of the ampitheater from John’s office.
So, despite the intermittent rain, we had a ball.
I think the boys did too. This was a beautiful venue.
Everything these days is covered with a haze, a mixture of sadness and joy. I’m filled with pride and yet, always on the verge of tears. I feel so blessed to take this journey with him and still apprehensive that when the time comes for me to step off the trail, I won’t be ready. He won’t be ready.
I know that this is only the beginning for him. The world lies in wait; ready to embrace another generation of our youth. It’s my job to let go, to give him gladly to a world that is hurting and in need of strong minds and compassionate hearts. And I will find a way to let go.
Because deep down, I know that what we give away from open hands and hearts, always comes back to us. The sadness turns to joy. The tears are a baptism of sorts. Drowning out the need to control….to hold too tightly. It is necessary for this goodbye—-this death to the way things have always been—before new life can spring forth.
I will say goodbye to this way of life. To this way I have mothered you. But I will not say goodbye. I will hold you in my heart always. Rejoicing with you in your joys. And bearing your burdens with you in my heart….and on my knees. I will be here for you. Always.