My family gathered for the last hurrah! last night and feasted on steak and shrimp. It was a delightful dinner and I’m pretty sure I pulled some ab muscles laughing so hard. I literally fell onto the floor laughing at one point…..not to be confused with me literally falling out of the bed last night…(thanks for all the concern about my possibly fractured hip, Stevie). We performed our redneck version of the 12 days of Christmas and recorded it to send to my JamieKnoxville (my beloved cousin who makes her home among the yankees of New Joisey). She could be in debt to me for life for orchestrating that piece of musical prowess. Loretta Lynn ain’t got nothin’ on me. If you’re quick on the draw, you might be able to see it later today mingled into an older post. But in the interest of protecting the last ounce of self-respect I still possess, I’m not leaving it there long. If you do happen to view it, remember two things. 1. Most of my relatives call me ‘sister’. 2. The favorite funeral decoration among us is the plastic phone carefully nestled among all manner of carnations that reads “Jesus called”. Need I elaborate? I didn’t think so.
And for those of you who are wondering how ‘baby dog’ is doing. He’s absolutely the most darling adorable little pooch you’ve ever seen. And in the interest of preserving all things southern, we named him HANK. Max sounded too much like he was from New York and wore argyle sweaters…..and had a doggy umbrella. HANK has a certain “I drive a Ford f150 and have a rifle rack” sound. He’s much more of a HANK. And since our family has a really bad habit of butchering all names, I knew that within the hour, we’d be calling him Maxipad.
Scooter (our other dog) has refused all acknowledgement of baby HANK. He pretends not to see him at all….and when HANK comes in for a sniff, he growls. Nice. Way to show him some southern hospitality Scooter. Where are your doggie manners. You should be showing him around…..showing him where to find all the dirty underwear and shoes. You should be giving him the scoop on mealtimes and doggie treats. But no. You refuse to welcome Baby Hank to the family. Just wait til he’s 50 pounds and giving you the cold shoulder. You won’t like it then buddy.
So, in 24 hours, here’s what we’ve called him